Working.....

Ok so here I am working. Well I guess I'm not doing much work. I am rather checking my email and writing on my blog. I cannot help it if people don't need an ambulance right now! It's kinda a bittersweet thing. I don't necessarily want people to be hurt or need me but at the same time I hate sitting around bored! It's kinda like when I am driving or riding in a car and there is an accident ahead and I am wondering if its a "good accident" or not. It doesn't mean I am hoping people are hurt, but if they are that is what I am trained for so I appreciate the experience of it.... you know how it goes. I am not asking people to get into accidents or have heart attacks, but it happens on its own (thats why they are called "accidents") so I want to be able to help. Its kinda like my friend Betty... she is a writer and I am sure as she is working so hard on her novel she is hoping people will someday be buying and reading it. She doesn't want to write it simply for the experience of writing a novel but so that people can enjoy her hard work! (At least I am hoping thats why she is working so hard on it...which by the way I might add I am looking forward to getting to read it someday!.. except I might cry when characters die, even if they are evil)

So anyways I have been feeling a little emotional lately...as if you couldn't tell from my previous two posts.... there is a lot on my mind and not just about my Dad. I think I get this way about every month or two and just feel like I am not heading in the direction I want to be heading. I just get a little overwhelmed by one thing or another and so then everything seems way to tough to handle! Well life goes on. I am trying to learn to control my negativity. I have some stuff going on that I am not happy about (regarding better shifts and all) and I have realized that maybe they sometimes overlook me because I don't make a big fuss about it. So it puts me in a bad mood because they overlook me but then I never say anything about it so they continue to overlook me and take advantage of my willingness to "go with the flow" SO I guess in the long run I only have myself to be mad at! But what-ever! SO I am dealing with things. I love my job and I am here and happy and so with or without the better shift I should enjoy myself! Well life goes on and I am overcoming my weaknesses. I am trying to be me and learn and grow. Trying not to let life pass me by without my getting some enjoyment out of it! I know that things will work out in Heavenly Fathers time and in His way. I know that what is meant to happen with my Dad will happen. I know that I want him to make it through surgery and even though it will be a long road I know it will be good. If by chance he doesn't make it through there will be a different long road to travel but either way life goes on and I know that I can do it. I am preparing myself for both roads and trying to pack lightly! Well I guess I should get back to sitting around at work! :)