Ok so I am new to this blogging thing. The blog I have on myspace consists mainly of some of my poetry work. So I am not really sure what to write on here but oddly enough I was (ok so you may not want to know this part) going to the bathroom and was thinking about WHO I AM... and I guess partly because of the Relief Society lesson I am co-teaching on Sun (about individual worth) and I was thinking of some things about me. I was oddly enough thinking "I should put this in my journal or a blog or something". So here I am. I probably later will wish I had put it in a journal so less people can see it but whatever! I had thought to myself briefly that I could just go back to bed since it is like 4:45 in the morning and then I could write it later and I figured I would probably not forget "who I am" but I knew that I might forget some of the things I wanted to say about who I am. If that makes any sense at all!
So I was thinking that since I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have come to really learn who I am. I now know that I am a daughter of God. That in an eternal sense I am a princess! What a blessing that is to know! I can inherit eternal blessings from this knowledge! But than I was thinking of me today. In a non-eternal sense. WHo I am. I am a karaoke singer who wont go to ward choir. I am a DIsneyland freak who probably doesnt spend enough time at home. I am an EMT who feels like she can't help people she loves the most. I am a wanna-be pianist who can't clap my hands in rythem for eighth and quarter notes! It really doesn't all make sense to me! I am the girl who wonders how many great opportunities I missed out on because I was afraid of wetting the bed so I wouldnt go to sleep-overs! I am a girl who loves to fish and hike and be in nature but is allergic to a lot of pollens in the air! I enjoy working on my car but have never taken a course to learn how to help myself in that aspect! I am a girl who needs to lose weight but is scared of how it may affect things in my life. So now at nearly 5 am I am wondering still "who am I?"
Well I am out of thoughts. I know that there is more to who I am and I still know that I am a princess :) that wont ever change. But I don't think I share that side of me often enough. At the risk of sounding egotistical I feel kinda humble in that sense. I really truely know I am a daughter of God and I don't think I give myself enough credit for that sometimes! I think I sometimes let life get the best of me and it causes me to lose myself. To forget the eternal value of my soul! But I am working on that. I really have lately started to love myself more and I know that is a huge start. I still have some self-esteem issues but I am learning not to judge who I am based on my outward appearance. I have learned that when I focus on who I am eternally everything else fades away. I can love myself more and by so doing am a much happier person and I know that is really "who I am!"