Thursday, May 29, 2008
So I was thinking that sometimes I feel like I am too needy. I have never really considered myself a needy person, but I have come to realize lately that sometimes I really am. I think that once I find a good friend or someone I am interested in knowing better I become too attached. I realised that maybe I call too much or text too often and so forth. I feel like I want to talk to them more frequently or that if I don't talk to them they will forget about me or something. I think in trying to keep them close(because I am afraid of losing them) I end up pushing them away, its a little scary sometimes! This isn't who I am and it definately isn't who I want to be!!! I don't want to ruin my friendships by expecting too much. I don't like pushing people away and I think in the past I have. I just don't really know how to keep from doing it. I do have self control. But maybe I don't use it often enough. I know I don't have to call but I tend to find some lame reason why I should. It's no wonder that I am where I am today, that I am stil single after all these years... I think that I become a little overbearing and it scares people off. I am trying to work on it. I do plan on being a better person when it comes to this and a lot of other things in my life. But it is a slow process! I have amazing friends and I know I can rely on them. I hope that it stays that way. I hope that my friendships become stronger and not because I am like a stalker but because we can learn and grow and have fun together. That we can continue to build each other up and not let each other down.I hope that we can help each other through difficult times and share in our joys! Anyways its late and I should be in bed.... I hope this blog isnt too crazy. I think it makes sense. At least it does to me...but anyways I need sleep....Please forgive me if I "stalk" you! Its only cause I love ya!