Working.....

Ok so here I am working. Well I guess I'm not doing much work. I am rather checking my email and writing on my blog. I cannot help it if people don't need an ambulance right now! It's kinda a bittersweet thing. I don't necessarily want people to be hurt or need me but at the same time I hate sitting around bored! It's kinda like when I am driving or riding in a car and there is an accident ahead and I am wondering if its a "good accident" or not. It doesn't mean I am hoping people are hurt, but if they are that is what I am trained for so I appreciate the experience of it.... you know how it goes. I am not asking people to get into accidents or have heart attacks, but it happens on its own (thats why they are called "accidents") so I want to be able to help. Its kinda like my friend Betty... she is a writer and I am sure as she is working so hard on her novel she is hoping people will someday be buying and reading it. She doesn't want to write it simply for the experience of writing a novel but so that people can enjoy her hard work! (At least I am hoping thats why she is working so hard on it...which by the way I might add I am looking forward to getting to read it someday!.. except I might cry when characters die, even if they are evil)

So anyways I have been feeling a little emotional lately...as if you couldn't tell from my previous two posts.... there is a lot on my mind and not just about my Dad. I think I get this way about every month or two and just feel like I am not heading in the direction I want to be heading. I just get a little overwhelmed by one thing or another and so then everything seems way to tough to handle! Well life goes on. I am trying to learn to control my negativity. I have some stuff going on that I am not happy about (regarding better shifts and all) and I have realized that maybe they sometimes overlook me because I don't make a big fuss about it. So it puts me in a bad mood because they overlook me but then I never say anything about it so they continue to overlook me and take advantage of my willingness to "go with the flow" SO I guess in the long run I only have myself to be mad at! But what-ever! SO I am dealing with things. I love my job and I am here and happy and so with or without the better shift I should enjoy myself! Well life goes on and I am overcoming my weaknesses. I am trying to be me and learn and grow. Trying not to let life pass me by without my getting some enjoyment out of it! I know that things will work out in Heavenly Fathers time and in His way. I know that what is meant to happen with my Dad will happen. I know that I want him to make it through surgery and even though it will be a long road I know it will be good. If by chance he doesn't make it through there will be a different long road to travel but either way life goes on and I know that I can do it. I am preparing myself for both roads and trying to pack lightly! Well I guess I should get back to sitting around at work! :)

My Dad....

I just realized after writing my previous blog as I was lying in bed thinking about what I said and how In being afraid to lose people I end up pushing them away and I realized I think this is something I have been doing with my Dad lately. I think there is so much going on with him and his needing open heart surgery. I think I have been kind of pushing him away but I think its because I am afraid of losing him. I really want him to be around forever and yet it seems like all we do is fight sometimes. (especially lately, which is partly why I was so excited to get out of the house and back to work) my mom says we argue a lot because we are both the same and we butt heads when we are around each other to much. But I think a part of me is trying to find a reason to be able to let go. I am so scared for him and the surgery. It really upsets me that he hasnt been doing what he needs to in order to lose weight and I already know the risks of the surgery I I know he is at a greater risks because of his weight and other medical conditions. Sometimes I wonder if he wants to die? I love my job so much and yet I see him in so many of my patients. I see things on a regular basis and I wonder when I come home am I goign to find an ambulance there picking up my dad doing the same things I was doing to someone else in trying to save them? I do have a lot of faith and I really do believe that he can make it through the surgery alive if he wants to, but in my heart I feel like I need to prepare for the worst and its so hard! I am not ready to let go or say goodbye, and so I hope he is not ready to let go either! He still has a lot of fight in him, I just hope he knows where its stored because I am not seeing it lately! I know this is stuff I need to tell him... but I don't know how! Anyways I am crying all over the keyboard.... and since I am not really sure where to go with the rest of this blog...sorry its a sad one but its how I am feeling lately! But I really do need sleep and now its going to be hard to get ther... but I think I need to at least be in bed!

Too Needy

So I was thinking that sometimes I feel like I am too needy. I have never really considered myself a needy person, but I have come to realize lately that sometimes I really am. I think that once I find a good friend or someone I am interested in knowing better I become too attached. I realised that maybe I call too much or text too often and so forth. I feel like I want to talk to them more frequently or that if I don't talk to them they will forget about me or something. I think in trying to keep them close(because I am afraid of losing them) I end up pushing them away, its a little scary sometimes! This isn't who I am and it definately isn't who I want to be!!! I don't want to ruin my friendships by expecting too much. I don't like pushing people away and I think in the past I have. I just don't really know how to keep from doing it. I do have self control. But maybe I don't use it often enough. I know I don't have to call but I tend to find some lame reason why I should. It's no wonder that I am where I am today, that I am stil single after all these years... I think that I become a little overbearing and it scares people off. I am trying to work on it. I do plan on being a better person when it comes to this and a lot of other things in my life. But it is a slow process! I have amazing friends and I know I can rely on them. I hope that it stays that way. I hope that my friendships become stronger and not because I am like a stalker but because we can learn and grow and have fun together. That we can continue to build each other up and not let each other down.I hope that we can help each other through difficult times and share in our joys! Anyways its late and I should be in bed.... I hope this blog isnt too crazy. I think it makes sense. At least it does to me...but anyways I need sleep....Please forgive me if I "stalk" you! Its only cause I love ya!

Have you ever????

Have you ever sat at your computer writing a blog, when the whole time you are thinking to yourself things like: "I shouldn't be writing this blog, since I am waiting for my laundry to finish washing, while waiting I should be: 1.Reading my scriptures 2.Feeding my turtle, my bird and my dog 3.Putting away my already clean laundry 4.Practicing the piano 5.Getting my stuff together for work tomorrow 6.Getting ready for bed since I have to get up early for work tomorrow. 7.Packing my lunch for work tomorrow etc etc etc...."

Yeah me either! That type of stuff never happens with me!

But I guess I should get going since I have to read my scriptures, feed my pets, put away laundry, practice the piano, get stuff and lunch ready for work tomorrow, get ready for bed and eventually switch my laundry into the dryer~ :)

Have a great day!

My "flair"

Ok so I recently added this application on my facebook profile called "pieces of flair" which is basically a corkboard type thing with push pins that look like buttons that you can put on your corkboard or send to your friends. Well I have suddenly become addicted to looking at all the flair "buttons" anyways I wrote down a bunch that I liked for various reasons anyways this may end up being a long list (it was hard enough to stop when I did) but here it goes:

*life is random, so am I
*We have to be friends forever, otherwise the inside jokes go to waste.
*God is writing my story
*a day without sunshine is like, night
*Happy moments, Praise God. Difficult moments seek God. Quiet moments worship God, Painful moments trust God, every moment Thank God.
*I smile because you are my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.
*Friends are family we choose.
*Is it wrong to give guys code names so they don't know we are talking about them?
*My silence could mean you are not worht the arguement.
*TGIF - Thank God Im Forgiven
*Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze those little dangley things and drink what comes out"?
*Im not short, Im just unusually not tall.
*Top ten reason I procrastinate, 1.
*If you were a booger, I'd pick you first
*Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today
*Be the change you want to see in the world.
*We're the type of friends who dont know why we started laughing so we laugh harder.
*I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk
*The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
*I read for fun.
*Of course Im talking to myself, who else can I trust?
*Are stupid peaopl a protected species or something? Because there sure are a lot of them.
*Sometimes I wonder why that frisbee is getting bigger, than I get hit.
*It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt, than its hilarious.
*I pray daily, GOd is easier to talk to than most people.
*My disney obsession is probably unhealthy
*We are adults. When did this happen? And how do we make it stop?
*reality continues to ruin my life.
*If tylenol, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, you've got a serious problem.
*Im not short, Im fun-sized
*Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter dont mind.-Dr. Suess
*We are friends, you laugh I laugh. You cry, I cry You jump off a bridge, Im gonna miss you
*Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.
*Yes I am a princess, my father is teh King of all Kings
*I have superpowers, i just don't wanna show you.
*My life is one of those, you had to be there jokes.
*I speak sarcasm as a second language.
*We'll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
*It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions
*Life isnt always about waiting for the strom to pass, its about learning to dance in the arin.
*WHy are there never fat stick people?
*Good thing I brought my library card, because Im checking you out.
*Don't take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyways.
*Friends will help you when you fall, best friends will push you back down and laugh.(Ive have also heard this as "friends help you when you fall, best friends laugh because they are the ones who tripped you")
*You're the cheese to my macaroni
*People are like slinkies, basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.
*I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road withouh having their motives questioned.
*What you you say to an athiest who sneezes?


My disclaimer:
I am not a mean person, and I don't like to inflict injury upon someone else, or care to see others injured (IE: the slinkie one, I would not find it amusing to watch someone fall downstairs, I would be actually be concerned about their potential injuries) but I thought the comment in general was funny. SO I hope that nothing I have added will seem inappropriate to someone, I don't necessarily fully indorse it\,I just enjoyed it when I read it. :)

First week back..and piano-ing

OK so today was my 4th shift of my first week back to work (now I have 3 days off...) anyways it was a fairly slow day. In my 12 hour shift I ran a total of 3 calls. So I spent some time napping, a few min on my DS (the battery needs charged), some time reading and some time completing "one tough puzzle" that I have. It is a puzzle that on the box says there are over 300,000 wrong ways to complete it and only 1 correct way...anyways when I bought it I spent 20 min or so trying it and then it has sat in my bag for awhile, then this morning at work I played around with it for about 15-20 min or so and put it away (to go nap) and then later today after lunch I tried it again and did it in about 10min! SO um yeah... not so tough afterall! :) Ok maybe it was but I am not really sure.I may not have done it right because the 9 pieces are red on one side and black on the other side. It says on the box that you have to have make 3 rows of 3, with 6 of the interlocking pieces facing out when done and 6 coming inward (which I had both) without any holes in the middle. I had all that right, but I had 8 of the 9 pieces with the red side up and one with the black up. But it does NOT say anything on the box about having to be all one color so I think it was right???? Anyways after I finished I did some reading and some more napping :)

So anyways all in all this week I ended up working 2 ALS shifts and 2 BLS shifts. But all the patients I had on my ALS shift ended up being BLS patients (not needing serious care)so they were my patients. But all our paperwork for emergency calls is done on the computers and because I was moving from station to station all day and one of the stations I was at the computer wasn't working I couldn't finish my paperwork before the end of my shift. So on Thurs I got off and hour and a half late, and yesterday I got off an hour and 1/4 late. SO I was late to work on Weds then stayed overtime both thurs and fri, and got off on time today. I clocked out this evening with a total of 50 1/4 hours on my time card. Which would've been 50 3/4 had I not been late on Weds.... and I am only scheduled 48 hours a week! But I am really glad to be back at work! I am realizing a lot about my job habits this week. I realized that because I am short I often used to kinda "jump" out of the ambulance quite frequently because there wasn't a side step etc. and so this week I have had to make a conscious effort not to "jump" anymore and to step down properly and gradually. I did well when I had to lift the gurney and even yesterday when I had to walk up and down the freeway embankment for the traffic accident I went on that was on the freeway. It came out as an overturned vehicle, but it ended up being upright, he had rolled down the embankment of the on ramp but landed upright...I actually had 2 freeway calls this week! But neither was serious. Like I already said all my patients were not serious. I was a little sore yesterday after work and again today and I shouldve iced my knee but didn't :( But I think overall its going to be ok! As long as I continue to be aware of what I am doing so I don't re-injure it life is good!

SO about my piano-ing! Renee came over on Weds for a lesson. She said I am continuing to improve. I don't necessarily see it all the time, but I believe her. I am confident she would tell me the truth if I was an idiot or doing really crummy, so I have no choice but to believe her! :) I noticed tonight though that it really does help when I listen to her advice. (I noticed before, but didn't appreciate it as much as now) She is an amazing teacher and I am gaining more confidence in my skills I am slowly learning! When I started practicing tonight I was still struggling with Clementine and it was something she and I had discussed on Weds and she gave me some advice and what she said really helped. I was still messing up and wanted to get frustrated but I stayed calm and kept trying and now I think I got it down, of course my other new song "Lavender Dilly" or something like that is my new trouble piece... UGH :) I am also learning "Love at Home" and that's proving to be a little difficult too but I am getting better there too. Tonight I actually played through it (very slowly) with both hands at the same time (up till nowI was only doing one at a time on it) I really need to work on my fingering and I can do even better!

Anyways I should be off to bed! I just wanted to share that I have had a great week! I love being at work again and I am loving learning to play the piano! It has always been a dream of mine to be able to play piano and I love that my dream is coming true! :)

First Day Back.....

Ok so I survived my first day back! It all started a little odd... I
got to work at 6:30 and was ready to go, when the dispatcher asked me
why Iwasn't there at 6am? I said because my shift starts at 6:30!
Anyways come to find out they changed the hours of my shift while I was
out of work and when they told me I was going back to my old shift they
forgot to inform me of the change in time. So I started out 30 min
late! Then I was introduced to Ryan....who is fairly new to the
company.Apparently he started just after I went out for my surgery and
so that was who I worked with today. Which is no big deal except
because he is new heisn't allowed to drive yet so on my first day back all I did was drive! So then while in Thousand Oaks transporting a patient I accidentally ran a red light... it was no big deal I didn't get caught and no body was coming through the intersection yet but I didn't slam on my brakes.... Oh and apparently
when my old partner (who I had when I left) switched shifts while I was
out she complained about the rig they were going to give her on the
other shift and she got my old rig so I spent the day in an old rig
that had an annoying buzzing/rattling sound coming from the back all
day long! UGH!! Anyways I didn't mind though because I loved being
back! I was smiling all day long. We ended up only running 3 calls and
were back in theNard and at the station basically for the whole second half of the shift so I did some reading, some napping, some nintendo DS... some more reading.... then we went and got fuel for the rig.... then I watched a little TV before getting off for the day!

I also got harassed a little because one of the gurney batteries in the rig I was on needed replaced and so Tony was like "what do you want me to do about it? You
mean you have only been back two days and are already braking stuff?" I
informed him I was only back for about 7 hours at the time not 2 days
and he got me the new battery! It was funny! Then I got called into
Mikes office.... he asked me if I want to do a 12 hourALS shift tomorrow! (ALS
means advanced life support... meaning working with a Paramedic doing
911 calls) so instead of 6am tomorrow I get to go in at 9am! Then back
to 6am on Fri and Sat! :) Tomorrow will be the true test of my knee
though because I wont have a hydraulic gurney so I actually have to do
squats and lift the gurney all day long.... hopefully it will beok! But overall today was great...except it having been a little slow! I get bored sometimes!

Well Renee is on her way over for a piano lesson.... SO I should probably
end this! But be sure to take a look at the little addition I added to
my blog entitled "Pizzadilla" It should make you smile!

GOING BACK TO WORK!!!!

I cannot wait until tomorrow morning when I get to go back to work! I start my shift at 06:30 am and I will get off at 18:30 (that's 6:30pm incase you don't know) I am so excited and I should be in bed since I have to get up early! But I must say I don't recommend trampoline injuries if you don't want to miss 9 weeks of work! I LOVE my job and so I have missed being there! It also has to do with the fact that several other people have been home all day long and I get a little restless and aquite irritable dealing with some of them! Its always like a circus at my house. There is always something going on and quite often there is drama! Which I prefer to avoid! Plus did I mention I LOVE MY JOB!!! Even ont he busy crazy days where I am tired and worked to the bone or whatever I still love it! It keeps me going and it is so amazing to feel like I have helped someone.

Perspective

I remembered last night a story I once heard in a church meeting. But since I had literally just finished my last blog. As well as moving my bedroom mess from the bed to the chair... so I didnt get back online. Anyways this is the story:

One day this lady woke up and when she looked in the mirror she only had 3 strands of hair on her head. She said "I think I am going to braid my hair today" and that was what she did and she had a great day. So the next morning she wakes up again and looks in the mirror and she only had 2 strands of hair. She said "I think I am going to part my hair in the middle today." So she did and she had a great day. The next day comes and she has only one hair on her head. She says "I think I will put my hair into a ponytail today" she did and she had a great day. The next morning she wakes up completely bald. She looked in the mirror and said "good I don't have to do my hair today" She had a great day. SO obviously the moral of the story is that it is all about perspective. Any day can turn out to be bad or good. the lady could have been upset about losing her hair but instead she found a way to turn each thing into a positive. We all need to do this with things in our life that look like they could be negative if we take the time to look into the mirror we can find a way to be happy about it.

Not so bad.....

OK so I know I am always talking about how bad I am doing on learning piano, but when I really think about it, Im not so bad. I am definately not so great yet either. But I am just a student afterall and havent been playing long. So I am proud of where I am and what I am learning. I need to be more positive about it. I have realized though that some songs I seem to understand easier. That this song I am currently learning about Mary sifting sand.... it kinds stinks big time (at least when I play it) but Clementine...she's my darling! :) I am really starting to learn the notes, to be able to play a little faster because I am not spending as much time trying to count/ figure out which note comes next. So thats exciting for me! Now I just need to continue working on my fingering and chords! Oh and that whole issue of playing both hands at once...Im still a little sticky there too but its all good! Afterall I have an amazing teacher with a lot of patience so its great!

So today (well I guess technically yesterday since it's after 2 am) I got to go see Mamma Mia. It was incredible. I just recently learned (from the preview for the upcoming movie) that Mamma Mia is based on ABBA songs. Which I don't know very many of, other than Dancing Queen which I think is universally known! So anyways I got a call at 8:30 am that something came up and Renee's parents weren't going to be able to go and she was wondering if I would care to join her in seeing it? So I said sure! I am really glad I did. I had a lot of fun and it was a fun story. Renee and I discussed some stuff after like the ending and some little things we noticed from it that could've been done a little different but it was great! I don't want to really say some of the things we think could have been better because I don't want to give the story away but overall it was good. I mean I bought the soundtrack so I had to of enjoyed myself! I may even pick up an Abba CD next time I am CD shopping if I see one!

Well I should be off to bed! But first I gotta clean it off... I put a bunch of stuff on it earlier that needs to be put away. So then I went to practice piano. I figured if I cleaned first I would neglect the practicing, so I thought if I practiced first I would still have to clean off my bed to sleep in it... but then when I was done practicing my sister was watching a movie and I sorta joined her, then dosed off to sleep. So then when I woke up I switched over my laundry and came to my room.... and of course I am online again and my bed is still a mess! But now I am even more so tired and so I will probably re-locate the mess to my chair and worry about it tomorrow after church! Ugh to me! I really hate having my room be messy and even more-so I hate when I don't make it a priority to clean it! I only have myself to blame! But what-ev! Goodnight!

Pizzadilla

Ok so this may end up being one of the stupidest blogs you ever read...but I think it is a funny story. So a few weeks ago I was at home and looking for something to eat for lunch. I kinda wanted something different. So I was looking in the fridge and we had tortilla shells and we had mozzarella cheese. I thought "quesadilla" and then I looked and found a can of pizza sauce in the cupboard and decided to use that too. So I basically made a quesadilla but I added pizza sauce to it. My sister was like "what are you eating it smells good" I said "its a pizzadilla ( I pronounced it pizza-dee--ah) so she was like "what?" and I said "I made a quesadilla with pizza sauce so I am calling it a pizzadilla". Anyways later she made one to and was like "I made a pizza thingy whatever you called it". SO no big deal. But then this morning I was on my way home from my physical therapy appointment in the valley. I was a red light and was looking around and down the street I saw a giant billboard. It said "Pizzadilla, now theres a great idea" or something along those lines. It was a billboard for mission brand tortillas and had a giant picture of a quesadilla looking thing with pizza sauce on it!!!! I thought that was the craziest thing ever! It was like my conversation from a few weeks ago on a billboard! I called my mom because I thought it was funny and she was like "oh". I said "I thought it was funny" she said "yeah". But she wasnt laughing.... but then I felt better when I called my dear friend Renee and told her the story and she totally (legitimately) laughed! At least someone appreciated it! So I thought I would share it with the rest of my blog world. Which as far as I know is not very big! I dont think many people are reading my blog :( sad times! But I am greatful to those who are :)

Some thoughts....

So first off I just got back from watching the Chronicles of Narnia :Prine Caspian. Overall I enjoyed it. But I also must say that having just read teh book this week (finishing it earlier today even before going to the movie) I was kind of surprised at some of the changes that were made. but I know that it was to make the movie work better and be understandable. So it was good. I went to the midnight showing with my sister Deann, her boyfriend Aldo and my friend Renee. Although Deann likes sitting up top and Renee doesnt so we sat lower than Deann and Aldo. We ran into a few other friends there too so they sat with us. Anyways Deann went this afternoon to pre-purchase the tickets so we would have them and so I had Renee's ticket. So even though I told her it was only $7.50 (it was a costco ticket) she showed up with a $20 bill! Punk! She has been trying to give me gas money and we would fight over it. I told her I only had a couple dollars on me and I would have to give her change later. She said "don't worry about it, consider me buying your ticket so its like a date" I told her because we are always fighting abotu money and fighting over buying each other lunch or giving gas money etc that we are more like a married couple. So not only are we like twins, we can act like married folk sometimes! I also told her though that I hope our financial fights dont lead to divorce though because a lot of divorces happen because of financial reasons! She cracks me up! I am so blessed to have her as a close friend! I have learned so much from her lately! I love that she is home and will bea roudn for awhile!

So like I think I have mentioned in previous posts, Renee is also teaching me to play the piano. I am slowly improving. At least a little. I feel so grateful to her for her willingness to teach me. To put up with me in my lame-ness! I am glad she is a patient person! I know that even though she doesnt let it show I probably bug her sometimes when it comes to piano lesssons! In fact there have been a few times now that she will give me stuff to learn/practice and at our next lesson she tells me to continue with the same stuff! I just dont always get it! Maybe I should be better at asking questions if I feel I have them. Most of the time during the lessons I wont have any questions but then when I am practicing I feel so stupid sometimes and wonder about certain things.... There has been a few times when I have wanted to give up altogether! Don't tell my teacher but.... I've shed a few tears while practicing because I think I may never get it quite right. I wonder if I will ever be able to play with my fingers in the right places. To be able to really play both hands without looking at the keys for at least one hand! Sometimes even though I know them I still struggle sometimes at recognizing the notes when I look at it on the page. That of course makes me play slower and I get out of rythm, if in that song I am managing to play the notes in the proper rythm to begin with! I know practice makes perfect and I know that it takes time and I have only been learning for like a month and a half or so (maybe two months) but it feels like its been forever and that I am advancing slowly. I guess its kind of hard too sometimes because (maybe not intentionally) my Dad will make comments about me playing bnad or something and I think I let it bother me more than I should. In fact I am proud of myself for what accomplishments I have made thus far. I can do a lot more on the piano then I ever imagined! But then I look through the hymn book, or at other music books and I think I will nevre be able to play the things I see! I looked at the book of the musical score for the Nightmare Before Christmas and with the exception of a few parts here and there in various songs I wonder if I will make it to that level of playing. My teacher can play Chopin, and Mozart and Beethoven and I can barely manage "When the Saints go Marching In" which my Mom still says they march kind of slow! Well enough ranting about my piano skills....or so far lack there-of!

So for the few of you who have actually been reading my blog.... I hope that my post "Worn Out" didnt leave anyone with the wrong impression. I have truely enjoyed my activities for the past week or so! I have loved all the places I have been and the things I got to do. I have the best friends in the world! I have learned so much and have been so blessed to be able to have the time to do those things. It has been a pretty exhausting week but if I had the chance to do it over again I would in a heartbeat! I miss Sharon and Kalen already! I cannot believe its been almost 2 years since she started working at Gold Coast and became my partner! We bonded instantly and I have never regretted it! I also cannot believe its been like 4 years since I first met Renee and I think I neglected the time we knew each other before. She has so much to offer and we have grown so close these past 4-5 months or so since she has been home from her mission, and I wonder what I couldve learned from her before, had I kept in better touch when she went away to school, and I regret not writing her more on her mission. I keep telling her that if I would've wrote her every time I thought about writing she probably would've had so many letters she wouldn't have known what to do with them all! Anyways I also have so many other amazing friends that I couldn't live without.... Angela, Veronica, adn so many more but its too hard to name everyone! But know that I love them all! I have so much love and respect for my friends and I know that I am blessed! I know that Heavenly Father is watching out for me! I am thankful for that!

Worn Out!!

Ok so Sharon and Kalen have been here just about a week now! I am worn out! For the past week I have been doing something and traveling somewhere on a daily basis! One week ago (WEDS) Renee and I went to Santa Barbara to pick up the Disneyland tickets I won from KRUZ 97.5! So since we were going anyway we decided to make a day of it! We had brunch there. Went to the Harbor and walked on the pier and collected shells on the beach before coming home and going to institute that night! Then of course I was working on some cleaning in my room and stuff and stayed up incredibly late for having to get up early on Thurs. So Thurs mornin comes around and I got up early and went to physical therapy. Left from there to LAX to get Sharon and Kalen and waited with them literally for 50 min before the baggage from their plane to FINALLY come to the claim area ( there was a flight that landed 40 min AFTER them that got their luggage the next claim over at the SAME time!! I think someone messed up something, somewhere!) so then we came home and surprised my Mom (THAT WAS FUN) and we pretty much had a mellow day and we went shopping that night! Gotta love Wal Mart. Then of course visiting and stuff we stayed up pretty late yet again and on Fri we all got up early for Disneyland! SO on Fri morning Sharon, Renee, my Mom, Kalen, Elijah, and myself hopped in the car for a fun filled day at the Happiest Place on Earth. Which was of course a little crowded and the dude in City Hall basically accused me of trying to just get to the front of the lines and questioned my need for a handicap pass! (that didnt make me very happy) But aside from going to CA Adventure we did ride all we wanted to, got to watch both the firework show and Fantasmic and had a great 12 hours there! So then Sat comes around and after sleeping in just a bit, we went to the street fair here in Simi! That was pretty fun! I entered a bunch of contests to win a bunch of free stuff.... and apparantly I either didnt win any of it or they have not done any of the contests I entered yet! :( So now onto Sun.... the day of rest! I was glad for that! I always love going to church and relaxing! Then we went and had dinner at my sisters house for Mothers Day! Pretty fun! I also did some reading in teh Chronicles of Narnia! Mon we stayed kinda mellow again, but we did go walk the grounds at the Reagan Library, took a bunch of pictures, developed some film at Costco and went shopping at the Good Will! It was a fun day! then I stayed up pretty late doing some Chronicles of Narnia reading! Tues morning I had physical Therapy, so Sharon and K waited in the car and played my Nintendo DS while waiting for me and after my 45 min or so pt appointment we drove to Santa Monica. We walked arounf the 3rd street promenade and did some shopping. Had lunch at Johnny Rockets and then walked over to the pier. We spent about 6 hours total in Santa Monica before getting back to the car and goign to Diddy Riese for some yummy cookies! (my favorite is the WHite Chocolate Macadamia Nut) so last night we were pretty dang tired! But I made sure to do some more Narnia reading :) SO then this morning we got up pretty early again (7am) and we got ready to go and we started our day visiting Gold COast Ambulance. We then traveled from there to make a quick stop at the KHAY radio station for my mom to pick up Disneyland tix she won the other night. We then travelled to Santa Maria and had lunch with an old friend. We went from there to the indian casino. I walked around with Kalen while my mom and Sharon gambled for about 40 min. Then Sharon stayed with K while my Mom and I went in. (yes I gambled but only a few bucks since I dont really like to gamble, and I played my little bit of winnings then was done) I was pretty bored for the time I was in there, but I knew my MOm wanted to be there so I stayed. Then we then went down the road to Solvang. We got there pretty close to 4ish. To start walking around and stuff and soon discovered that most of Solvang closes doors at like 5! UGH... but we walked around and stuff until about 7. Left there and went back to Port Hueneme to the navy base for Sharon and Kalen to visit a few friends there. Did some visiting, got some gas in teh car and a little dinner at like 10pm and were finally heading home! So now as I am typing this Sharon is packing her bags and sadly she is leaving in the morning! Its almost midnight and we have to leave for the airport at like 4am! Her flight leaves around 6am! Im going to miss her! BUt I am excited that after I get home from the airport I get to take a HUGE nap! :) Next week I get to go back to work! Exactly one week from today! YIPPEE... but before that I am going on Mon for 1 more DIsneyland trip! That will make it a total of 5 trips in the past 9 weeks while on disability! :) I lvoe that place!

Home away....

From home.... I have a few places I can consider to be my "home away from home" anytime
I am at church or at a church activity I feel at home. I love that when I am with members I can feel the spirit and be comfortable and relaxed. I don't have to impress anybody and I can just be myself. I love being able to learn and to grow and come closer to my Savior. This is nice and makes me happier. I know that I am a much better person because of it as well! Life is good when church is involved and the Spirit is present. This is also why I love serving in the Temple. Tuesdays and Sundays are my favorite days of the week sometimes because they help me prepare for the other days. They are the days that help me to be strong when I need to avoid arguing with my family, or keeps me from having road rage when I get cut off on the freeway. They help me to overcome the temptations that life can throw at me on a regular basis. They have been a strength in my life! I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing without them!
So place number two is work. I absoutely LOVE my job and since I have been out of work fro nearly two months I am missing it terribly! I cannot wait until I can go back. I love being able to help people for a living. I love the lessons that I can learn at work and the things that can help me in the future when I have a family of my own. When I am at work I feel at home. I know that I am doing the right thing and I know that I am in the right place. I love making a difference. I love seeing little children and being able to teach them about getting help when things go wrong. I don't see myself as a hero but I know that sometimes other people do.
So last but certainly not least... I love going to Disneyland. I know it can be expensive, I know it can be a hassle with the lines and sometimes annoying or interesting people and so forth. But I really do feel like Disneyland is a home away from home for me. I feel comfortable there. I can have fun and spend a day with friends and not be worried about bad influences, or about standing in unholy places. I don't have to be worried about being tempted by evil, there is a winery thing at CA Adventure but it isn't highly promoted or forced upon you, at both parks there are designated smoking areas so even that can be avoided! I have several friends with Annual passes like me and since we live close enough it can be enjoyed frequently but we are not so close that we go too frequently and over-do it. Its nice because I can ride one thing this trip and if I don't make it onto everything I dont feel dissapointed. Afterall I know I will be back. Another advantage to going regularly is that I know where all the bathrooms are! That comes in handy for me a lot! I love being in a place where happiness is promoted around every corner! I love that you see little children who get so excited to see characters like Mickey Mouse and Cinderella! It puts a smile evn on my face to see the characters and take a picture! Too bad I am too old for an autograph book :)
SO those are my homes away from home. Those are the places I love to be when I am not at home with my family. The places where I can get away and relax or rejuvenate when life gets stressful! Many people tell me they love that there is always a smile on my face and its easy to see why there is. Pretty much the only places I go away from home are church, the Temple, to work and to Disneyland. SInce I love all those places there is no need to be angry or to frown!

Toilet Paper crisis....

OK so tonight I was telling my mom and my sister that we will have to go to Costco tomorrow and get some more paper plates and toilet paper. My sister had recently watched an episode of Oprah about "going green" and saving the environment. So she informed me that paper plates were not very environmentally friendly. I told her if we had a fireplace they would be because we could then burn our own trash instead of adding to the dumps. So then she told me that increases the CO2 into the ozone or something and that I was 0/2. So I told her that toilet paper but not be very friendly either so we began joking around about having to use washcloths in the bathroom and rinsing them out to save on toilet paper. Well we decided it would be funny to joke around with ym other sister and her boyfriend (who were not here for the conversation) and we put a sign up in the bathroom that says:

Attention: New procedures in place……
In order to save on rising toilet paper prices we will be using a new system. Each person will have his/her own washcloth to use for wiping your rear. Please rinse and re-use your own washcloth. Add your washcloth to your laundry and wash as necessary as well. Please do not use anybody else’s cloth and do not replace your cloth with new ones. Do not throw away any washcloths. Thanks for your assistance in our financial savings as well as our environment! Go-green! Please use the washcloth located beneath your name.

I hung this sign on the wall above the towel rack ( I re-hung the towel on the shower door towel rack) I put up 5 different color washcloths and signs with the 4 names of us who use the bathroom most and the 5th sign says "guest"..... anyways I also did this with fake names (to protect those involved) and took pictures to send to Jay Leno for "Headlines"

At this time no animals were harmed during the duration of this prank, nor were any washcloths used. We have also left the regular toilet paper in the bathroom for the time being!

I remembered

The Temple is an amazing place! While there I think I finally figured out the 8th and 16th notes Ive been struggling with! It was so easy all along! Then I remembered what I wanted to blog the other night! Well as you know (if not you should if you know me and are reading my blog) I am an EMT and work on an ambulance. I deal with illnesses on a daily basis and am quite familiar with and comfortable in the medical field. This has come in handy in the past quite frequently when through my own knowledge or some online studying, or books I have pretty much been able to diagnose myself with some of my previous medical problems. Like for instance when I was having wrist problems I happened to be at a friends house. Her mom had just been diagnosed with carpal tunnel and had been to the library. So I was reading some books about carpal tunnel. As I was reading there was a small paragraph about a type of tendonitis called DeQuervains Disease. I said this sounds like my symptoms more than carpal tunnel. The next week I went to my doctor.... as you probably guessed..... I was diagnosed with Dequervains disease! It was too crazy! I have kinda been able to tell also before seeing the doctor in the past when I had a new ear infection, and before seeing the doctor I knew I was going to end up having wrist surgery and I kinda knew with my knee too (although I didnt figure it out to be a miniscus tear I just kinda felt the surgery coming) So like I said being in the medical field has kind of helped me from time to time. It has also helped me to be able to understand more of the medical terminology used by doctors and so I have needed less "laymans terms".
But everything has its opposites. For every pro there is usually at least one con.... here is mine. As well as being able to understand medical stuff I am trained to recognize symptoms and even though in the field we are not allowed to "diagnose" we are only allowed technically to "treat the symptoms", we can usually have a good clue as to what the diagnosis is for what we are treating. So my con is when I have a headache I know it could just be a migraine from skipping lunch but I often start doing a stroke test on myself. When I was sick the other day and had stomach pains, so I began to wonder the possibility of it being my appendix or my gallbladder or something else internal since I knew it wasnt cramps from my monthly cycle. I also pretty much knew it wasnt my appendix or otherwise, because my pain would likely have been much worse. But knowing the medical side of it I began to think the worst. This happens to me a lot. If I start having allergy symptoms I wonder if its going to be a severe allergic reaction and am I going to go into anapylaxic shock! Its stupid I know. But its what I do. I must say though at the same time my job has taught me a lot about the 911 system and how some people complete abuse it when it isnt necessary to call, and how often times the people that need it the most, dont call or wont until it is too late! I havent ever had a need to call 911 for myself and I think that I would know the difference between a true medical emergency and valid use for calling it. I have called in several accidents in the past and fires and such but never anything like a headache or stomach cramps from teh 24 hour flu or food poisoning or whatever the heck that was on Sun!
Anyways I hope I havent turned anyone away from calling 911 and I hope I dont scare you into thinking I neglect my own medical needs, but I have an understanding and appreciation for a side of things that many dont know. I am not invincible and if for some reason I reall did think I was having an appendicitis I wouldve had someone drive me to the Emergency Room and if nobody was around I wouldve called 911. But I was good! And I am glad to say I am better now! Thank goodness because I am going to Disneyland on Fri!

Dang it....

OK so last night I remember lying in bed (I did a lot of that yesterday since I wasn't feeling well) anyways I was thinking that I should get up and write a blog. It was about whatever it was I was thinking about. But since I wasn't feeling well I didn't write it, nor did I write down even a few of my thoughts so that I would blog them later. Now (as I knew I probably would) I am regretting my decision to ignore my thoughts~ because of course as you probably guessed I have forgottnen them all together! Man I know it would have been an amazing blog too! I guess I can kinda blame it on the illness! Which I am glad to say was pretty much a one day thing! But I have learned blogging is like my dreams... I rarely remember my dreams when I wake up and so I know that if I want to remember them I need to write them down as soon as I am awake or its gone forever! So I need to do the same with blogging!
So my relief society lesson worked out. Mostly because Emily was prepared. I said a few things but I wasnt feeling well and I pretty much cried the whole time (common for me) and so I don't even know if anyone understood me or if I made any sense! I am glad that we were co-teaching though because like I said I wasn't prepared, and since I wasnt feeling well it worked out in both degrees! So ummmm yeah...
So I learned something about myself tonight.... or have decided on something... I enjoy cooking and quite frequently enjoy trying to make new things and using new recipes. I also enjoy to bake and so again I often bust out my cookbooks and try to bake something new. Well a couple months ago I decided to try making lemon meringue pie. It ended up being lemon meringue soup. The meringue worked well (except it did shrink...ugh) but the lemon didnt set!!! I was so upset and vowed never to try that again! At least not anytime soon and not for dessert when feeding several guests! So that was that. So tonight as I was feeding guests again, one of them requested banana cream pie for dessert. I busted out the cookbook and the recipe was made quite similar to a lemon meringue pie and even suggested using a meringue top. But it also stated you could use whipped cream instead of meringue (whew!) so then I went shopping and stuff... it was getting kinda late and so I got some bana cream pudding/pie mix to use instead to save time. I followed the 3 easy steps on teh side of the box and attempted to make the pies.... they didnt set! So again I served soup instead of pie for dessert! Now I have baked a lot fo cool stuff and decorated some amazing looking cakes.... I can do cheesecake and pumpkin pie... but apparantly other "cream based" pies and I don't get along! So I dont think I will be trying anything like that EVER again! Or at least not any time soon!
At least my dinner and salsa turned out great... if I do say so myself! I fed a total of 14 adults and 4 kids so I feel pretty good about myself. Except of course for the pie thing! Then my twin helped me with dishes and we played some nintendo. Well first we played a lil mario kart on the super nintendo and she whooped my tailgate to shreds! Man i am gonna have to practice that one more often before we do that again! Then we played the regular nintendo. I must say I dominated the wrestling, the tetris and the circus troupe games! I have a lot more experience on those though so I think she was at a disadvantage there! But I learned she is quite a competitive chick! I sitll love her though!
Then it was on to a little piano practice.... I still cant get my rythems down... although it might help if I had taken more time to practice than I have.. I think Ive gotten a little better though. But I am kinda struggling on my newest songs! I hope my teacher doesnt get too frustrated with me at my next lesson! I havent practiced as much as I would like but even so I wish I was doing better! Since my relief society lesson was on individual worth and knowing our own worth I wont say what I want to now about how I feel like a loser sometimes when I am practicing and struggling! But I know its all in time! I just gotta keep going! Well its getting late and this blog is getting long! TTFN!

My second post....

OK so this one probably wont be as exciting as the first. If you even considered the first to be exciting. I don't know what I should be writing and in fact I should be preparing my relief society lesson and not even writing at all so um yeah. But I wanted to say how amazing my friends are! I have a lot of close friends and some other friends, and a lot of acquaintances...and I learn constantly from each of them. A couple friends in particular lately have really inspired me by their own personal blogs for me to write my own. Hence why I am here... Its kind of like my own online journal with less personal thoughts than what I normally write in my journal (which I dont write in nearly as often as I should). But I have learned that it doesnt completely matter what you share as long as you are willing to share it with the online world! I love that one of my friends is constantly sharing her testimony, in letters and on the phone and in her blog! She is an amazing example to me of a true convert! Another one of my friends shares questions she has, or interesting things she has heard and really cool stories of dreams and experiences. These two friends I love to spend time with and I love the examples they are to me. I love that no matter what, they can and will be themselves! That they are genuine and I love that! I love that I can be myself around them. The crazy person that I am. They along with many others have helped me to realize who I am and who I want to be! It's cool! ANyways onto my lesson now! Just wanted to share my online thanks to a couple cool chicks who should know who they are.... just incase I will give them hints.... one is like my twin in a lot of senses and one abandoned me :)

My Life As Elegyrl

Ok so I am new to this blogging thing. The blog I have on myspace consists mainly of some of my poetry work. So I am not really sure what to write on here but oddly enough I was (ok so you may not want to know this part) going to the bathroom and was thinking about WHO I AM... and I guess partly because of the Relief Society lesson I am co-teaching on Sun (about individual worth) and I was thinking of some things about me. I was oddly enough thinking "I should put this in my journal or a blog or something". So here I am. I probably later will wish I had put it in a journal so less people can see it but whatever! I had thought to myself briefly that I could just go back to bed since it is like 4:45 in the morning and then I could write it later and I figured I would probably not forget "who I am" but I knew that I might forget some of the things I wanted to say about who I am. If that makes any sense at all!
So I was thinking that since I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have come to really learn who I am. I now know that I am a daughter of God. That in an eternal sense I am a princess! What a blessing that is to know! I can inherit eternal blessings from this knowledge! But than I was thinking of me today. In a non-eternal sense. WHo I am. I am a karaoke singer who wont go to ward choir. I am a DIsneyland freak who probably doesnt spend enough time at home. I am an EMT who feels like she can't help people she loves the most. I am a wanna-be pianist who can't clap my hands in rythem for eighth and quarter notes! It really doesn't all make sense to me! I am the girl who wonders how many great opportunities I missed out on because I was afraid of wetting the bed so I wouldnt go to sleep-overs! I am a girl who loves to fish and hike and be in nature but is allergic to a lot of pollens in the air! I enjoy working on my car but have never taken a course to learn how to help myself in that aspect! I am a girl who needs to lose weight but is scared of how it may affect things in my life. So now at nearly 5 am I am wondering still "who am I?"
Well I am out of thoughts. I know that there is more to who I am and I still know that I am a princess :) that wont ever change. But I don't think I share that side of me often enough. At the risk of sounding egotistical I feel kinda humble in that sense. I really truely know I am a daughter of God and I don't think I give myself enough credit for that sometimes! I think I sometimes let life get the best of me and it causes me to lose myself. To forget the eternal value of my soul! But I am working on that. I really have lately started to love myself more and I know that is a huge start. I still have some self-esteem issues but I am learning not to judge who I am based on my outward appearance. I have learned that when I focus on who I am eternally everything else fades away. I can love myself more and by so doing am a much happier person and I know that is really "who I am!"