Sunday, June 29, 2008


Ok so Fri after going to drop off stuff at the doctors and getting a loaner phone at Tmobile I packed and my parents and I were on the road with my nephew for Turlock CA (north of Fresno, about 5-6 hours from Simi) My sisters and my other nephew and my bro in law were leaving later in the day.... so we headed out.... so we got up north and stayed with my Uncle (i ended up going to my cousin Chris' house that night) so then Sat we did a little swimming at my uncles It seemed like my family didnt care what I had to say or wanted to do so I was getting frustrated but whatver, mostly all was well then we were helping with the party set-up and then in the evening was the surprise party for my cousin Robbie's 40th bday!!
The party was fun except for the fact that mostly everyone was drinking.... expecially the bday boy and of course with that part of my family the gifts got a little crazy and so I was getting pretty uncomfortable. I couldnt really leave because it was like a 3 mi walk back to my uncles, it was dark and with my knee injury I knew I wouldnt make it without pain. That and I didnt really know the way and I dont know that it was a safe area.... so I just kinda sat there instant messaging with my friend Anthony on my phone.... I was so thankful for him being online and chatting with me bacause it gave me a good distraction from all that was going on. After awhile all the drinkers were inside so I went outside and it really got me thinking. I have always been used to this part of my family being big drinkers and getting a little out of line, and so I figured it was no different than always. but I havent really been with them all in that environment since before I joined the church. It really made me realize the difference the gospel has made in my life. Im "used" to it to some degree because they are my family and have always been that way, it as like that at all their weddings and stuff, and I deal with drunks frequently at work and so forth. Besides I knew I wasnt and wouldnt be drinking. But being there and knowing the spirit wasnt really there made me appreciate what knowledge I have. Even before I joined the church I had always made the decision not to drink. So the word of wisdom was easy for me to accept. So as I was sitting outside wanting to leave but being unable to I said a little prayer. I thought a lot about my testimony at that point. I thought about how it was going to be that much more important for me to be in sacrament and to know I was doing the right things. I was thinking about how things are going to be when I get married. I plan on marrying in the Temple and so my future spouse will be like me and I wont have to deal with it alone anymore but I was thinking how accepting my future spouse is going to have to be with my family. My cousins (Robbie Chris and Dale) are all older and it has always kinda been that with any of us they are the ones we all joke about how our spouses are going to have to survive them. They grew up basically as hicks and drinking and getting into trouble and being party anumals but now being a member Im that much more scared of what my spouse may think. I know my cousins will be accepting and I just hope they dont scare him off...but anyways I am thankful for the gospel, and for the truth I have and I am thankful that this morning I know what I did and said last night. I know where I was and I know I was safe! It was hard to be there but I was glad to be able to talk to Anthony and feel a little bit like I was somewhere else. But then there was more drama....
SO I was going to go home with my cousin Chris and drive one of his cars for him and his wife and then because Darla got mad at her brother she left in the car I needed to drive (the other 2 were manual transmissions and I dont like driving manual and so I havent in years so I wouldnt have been able to) but because my cousin had been drinking quite a bit I didnt know that I should ride with him, and I was going to stay with him again and he was going to let me take his car to church today and said the building was right by his house. So I ended up at my uncles again and had no idea when or where church was..... so Anthony helped me out again. He looked up online the church times for me so I would know and be able to go this morning to sacrament. (I couldnt get online at my uncles because he had just moved into his new house on thurs and so his computer wasnt set up yet) Anyways I found out when church would be and my sis dropped me off so I could go and picked me up after sacrament. It was a great meeting.....
Then we did a little more visiting and it was time to hit the road.... my Dad decided he wanted to sit in the back seat but was being annoying ad so we got into a little arguement so then my mom was all ticked off because we were arguing so I put on my headphones and watched the Joseph Smith video called Praise to the Man..... it was nice, it got me thinking about the gosple again and helped me to feel the spirit again. Bt all day long my Dad was complaining of knee pain adn was getting really bothersome to both me and my mom in the car and nothing seemed to help him to quit complaining! UGH so it was a REALLY long drive home with him complaining the whole time! We tried pain pills, pain patches, ice packs etc! You name it we tried it and yet he still complained! Anyways when we got home tonight I was thankful to be out of the car and away from my family! So it was a really long weekend!
But I have one question...why is it the people I love the most in life (my family) seem to bother me the most? Why is it they are the ones who make me the most frustrated and annoyed? I dont know the answer (renee says maybe its because we expect more of them) I think for me its frustrating because I know that they need the gospel and they dont seem interested and that is hard for me to deal with! Its hard to have this knowledge and not to know how to share it with those closest to me! To have them reject it time and time again.... I dont know but I hope it all works out and as much as I love them I hope we dont do another family vacation for awhile! This weekend seemed to last forever! Which was forever too long!

No comments:

Post a Comment