I know I haven't posted in awhile! It wasn't for lack of wanting to post it's just been crazy lately! I do have a few things I want to post about and even pictures to add to those posts.... So I will have to try and do that soon! I keep meaning to but keep not getting to! Partly because I have to upload my mom's camera pictures to my computer for at least some of the stuff I wanna share!
On a different non-picture blog related note I am almsot done with my summer semester of school. I have my finals on Mon for both my history classes. So far I am getting an A in both classes. I am pretty excited about that too because I had kinda messed up in my Trig class awhile back and it kinda dropped my gpa a bit :( so now I am bringing it back up again! I haven't signed up for any classes yet for the fall because I am looking for work right now and since I don't know where I will be working yet or what my days or hours will be I don't want to schedule any classes yet. That and the fact I don't have money to pay for any classes if I do register for them! so ummm yeah for right now it is a waitin game for school. But after these two history classes are done I will only need a 3 unit physical science class and a 1.5 unit health ed class and I will be done with my requirements for my associates degree with an emphasis on humanities!!! I could also take one more 3 unit science class for the emphasis to be on sciences but I think I'd be ok with humanities!!! Either way it will be great to say I did get at least one degree in college! Even if it did take me this long! Well I shall be off now! Gotta get some sleep so I can watch my nephews tomorrow! I will try and post pictures and share my other events soon!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Cry In the Shower....
This is a new poem, I started probably a month or so ago and just now finished it. I know it doesn't flow completely well... but I never said I was a professional poet or anything so deal with it!!!!
It’s easy to cry in the shower
The water washes away the tears
You’ll wash away the dirt from the day
You’re left with the hurt and fears
You wonder what to do?
What’s your next action?
You cry in the shower.
Without life’s distraction.
The warmth brings you comfort
The water brings a peace.
Some relief from the hurt.
A moment to be at ease
Life’s full of change,
That is constant and true
No matter the change
You’re either happy or blue
Some sing in the shower
Hum a happy tune
I cry in the shower
Wanting to start anew.
Life in the shower
Is simple and plain
It clears your body
Your mind and your soul
You wonder what you need
So you can feel whole
I often cry in the shower.
It’s time all alone
I choose the shower
The time is all mine
Once cleansed in the shower
You go on with your day
You start all anew
New dirt gets in the way
New pains and new fears
New hurt and new tears
The next time I shower
I’m ready to cry
I’ll cry in the shower
I’m not gonna lie.
It’s okay for me
It clears my head
Leaves me feeling better
Or ready for bed
So cry in the shower
I’m telling you
When you cry in the shower
You’ll be at peace too.
RLC
7-9-2009
It’s easy to cry in the shower
The water washes away the tears
You’ll wash away the dirt from the day
You’re left with the hurt and fears
You wonder what to do?
What’s your next action?
You cry in the shower.
Without life’s distraction.
The warmth brings you comfort
The water brings a peace.
Some relief from the hurt.
A moment to be at ease
Life’s full of change,
That is constant and true
No matter the change
You’re either happy or blue
Some sing in the shower
Hum a happy tune
I cry in the shower
Wanting to start anew.
Life in the shower
Is simple and plain
It clears your body
Your mind and your soul
You wonder what you need
So you can feel whole
I often cry in the shower.
It’s time all alone
I choose the shower
The time is all mine
Once cleansed in the shower
You go on with your day
You start all anew
New dirt gets in the way
New pains and new fears
New hurt and new tears
The next time I shower
I’m ready to cry
I’ll cry in the shower
I’m not gonna lie.
It’s okay for me
It clears my head
Leaves me feeling better
Or ready for bed
So cry in the shower
I’m telling you
When you cry in the shower
You’ll be at peace too.
RLC
7-9-2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Heart Attacking
When I was younger I did a lot of t.p.ing....(I am not really sure the correct way to type that... tee pee is a tent... I guess I could've gone the long route and put toilet papering, but nobody ever calls it that, they say t-p-ing) Anyway I have always thought that was a fun way to let someone know you were thinking of them. Or something of that sort. I have always done it to people I knew and as I got older instead of doing houses I got into the habit of t.p.ing cars,with my friend A. We could sometimes get 4 or 5 people in one night! It was so much fun! We were quite the pros! Every now and again if we really loved you we would even saran wrap it! (takes a lot of saran wrap though) But since I have been in the church I have learned of something else... heart attacking. Now of course I know what a real heart attack is when the heart muscles start to die etc etc... I've dealt with that at work. But to heart attack (in case you don't know) you cut out a bunch of hearts from paper and maybe write on them and stick them on a door or car or what ever to express your love.
This week I decided I wanted to heart attack a guy friend. I will call him Caleb ;-) so a friend of mine S. came over and helped me cut out hearts. We also looked in some books I have and online and found some inspirational sayings, some funny sayings, some friendship quotes, and then a few just everyday stuff like "have a great day" and "smile" etc, even a few jokes or one-liners to make it fun. I wasn't doing it as a romantic thing per-say but again just to let him know he was being thought about.
So I had the hearts and I was ready for the attack. So last night I asked my friend A. if she would be interested in going with my for the attack. She said sure and that she had her niece H. and H's friend K. with her. I said as long as they're quiet that was fine with me. We went about 12:30 and upstairs in the front of the house there was a light on. We decided to wait and come back. We went to a local quarter arcade and played some games and went back around 1:30. The light was still on but it looked like the blinds were now shut. We were hesitant but decided to go for it. We got a few hearts on the car when from over the fence we hear "what the f*$@ are you doing?" we bolted for the car. Our hearts pounding! We get in and A. asked H where her keys were because they weren't in the ignition! As it turns out she had put them on the seat, so as A is trying to get her keys I am crouching down as low as I can into the car so I am not seen if whoever was yelling was coming out in case it was my Caleb. I knew he wouldn't recognize the other girls but he would know me in a second. The nice thing was he wouldn't know her car though! So she gets the keys and we drove off having barely put any hearts on the car. We went to the donut shop and they all got milk and donuts. We sat there as they ate/drank than we decided to do a drive by and see if the hearts were still there. This time I laid down in back so I was hidden. The hearts were gone :(
I was told by another friend that Caleb does have family in town and that he has a brother in the military and so it was likely the brother that caught us. I don't know for sure. I also don't know if he even knows of our heart attacking or not. But I was pretty scared this morning. Oh and I forgot to mention I thought I heard my name as I was running for the car... but that might have been my subconscious speaking in the fear! I don't really know. But it seemed like I got a lot more text messages this morning than normal and every time my phone rang I was afraid it might be him! So tonight I was feeling kinda adventurous and asked A if she was up for a re-run! We went back and the lights were all off now but the car is still basically under a street lamp... we hesitated but we went anyway. My flip flops seemed kinda loud so I took them off near the back of the car. We started our second "attack". We got more hearts on this time and as I was trying to get some tape on the window for A to stick the heart on she took off running so as I was starting to run I realized I didn't have on my flip-flops so I grabbed them and ran. We drove off... after the fact she said she thought she heard something again and that it looked like a light went on in the garage. Anyway I don't think I will be making any more attempts on Caleb's car. So then we still had a bunch of hearts left. We decided we could find someone else to get. We went by my friends house and got a couple on her car and heard someone say something about hearing a noise... so we bolted, we were going to try a friend of hers, but she couldn't remember which street they lived on. Than we went to one of the missionary apartments to leave some on the front door. As we were walking up the steps one creaked... so we bolted.... So we decided to go to another friend of hers and when we pulled up they were in the garage hanging out!!!! SO much for that one! So it seemed like we had better luck with the TP than with heart attacking! We pretty much got caught every time! After that we gave up for tonight!
I still had a bunch of hearts left so when we got to her house and she went inside I got out of my car and left the rest of the hearts on hers! I don't know if she heard me or not. I am hoping not so that she gets a nice surprise in the morning! It was a fun 2 days of attempted heart attacking, and I guess potentially a couple people will get a few hearts to find in the morning! I did kinda do a drive by at Caleb's tonight and the hearts were still there so I think because of last night (it was scary...) she was a little paranoid.. not that we shouldn't be. But this time maybe Caleb will see some hearts on his car and know he was thought of! Or maybe he will have known of the few from last night and know that he was thought of twice in a row... I don't really know. I don't know that he knows or will know it was me. I am kind of hoping not because I don't know how he is going to react or how he reacted before (if he knew) so I guess I will find out at the bbq/pool party later! Well I should be gettin to bed! Just so you know... I don't plan on doing any more heart attacking for awhile!!
This week I decided I wanted to heart attack a guy friend. I will call him Caleb ;-) so a friend of mine S. came over and helped me cut out hearts. We also looked in some books I have and online and found some inspirational sayings, some funny sayings, some friendship quotes, and then a few just everyday stuff like "have a great day" and "smile" etc, even a few jokes or one-liners to make it fun. I wasn't doing it as a romantic thing per-say but again just to let him know he was being thought about.
So I had the hearts and I was ready for the attack. So last night I asked my friend A. if she would be interested in going with my for the attack. She said sure and that she had her niece H. and H's friend K. with her. I said as long as they're quiet that was fine with me. We went about 12:30 and upstairs in the front of the house there was a light on. We decided to wait and come back. We went to a local quarter arcade and played some games and went back around 1:30. The light was still on but it looked like the blinds were now shut. We were hesitant but decided to go for it. We got a few hearts on the car when from over the fence we hear "what the f*$@ are you doing?" we bolted for the car. Our hearts pounding! We get in and A. asked H where her keys were because they weren't in the ignition! As it turns out she had put them on the seat, so as A is trying to get her keys I am crouching down as low as I can into the car so I am not seen if whoever was yelling was coming out in case it was my Caleb. I knew he wouldn't recognize the other girls but he would know me in a second. The nice thing was he wouldn't know her car though! So she gets the keys and we drove off having barely put any hearts on the car. We went to the donut shop and they all got milk and donuts. We sat there as they ate/drank than we decided to do a drive by and see if the hearts were still there. This time I laid down in back so I was hidden. The hearts were gone :(
I was told by another friend that Caleb does have family in town and that he has a brother in the military and so it was likely the brother that caught us. I don't know for sure. I also don't know if he even knows of our heart attacking or not. But I was pretty scared this morning. Oh and I forgot to mention I thought I heard my name as I was running for the car... but that might have been my subconscious speaking in the fear! I don't really know. But it seemed like I got a lot more text messages this morning than normal and every time my phone rang I was afraid it might be him! So tonight I was feeling kinda adventurous and asked A if she was up for a re-run! We went back and the lights were all off now but the car is still basically under a street lamp... we hesitated but we went anyway. My flip flops seemed kinda loud so I took them off near the back of the car. We started our second "attack". We got more hearts on this time and as I was trying to get some tape on the window for A to stick the heart on she took off running so as I was starting to run I realized I didn't have on my flip-flops so I grabbed them and ran. We drove off... after the fact she said she thought she heard something again and that it looked like a light went on in the garage. Anyway I don't think I will be making any more attempts on Caleb's car. So then we still had a bunch of hearts left. We decided we could find someone else to get. We went by my friends house and got a couple on her car and heard someone say something about hearing a noise... so we bolted, we were going to try a friend of hers, but she couldn't remember which street they lived on. Than we went to one of the missionary apartments to leave some on the front door. As we were walking up the steps one creaked... so we bolted.... So we decided to go to another friend of hers and when we pulled up they were in the garage hanging out!!!! SO much for that one! So it seemed like we had better luck with the TP than with heart attacking! We pretty much got caught every time! After that we gave up for tonight!
I still had a bunch of hearts left so when we got to her house and she went inside I got out of my car and left the rest of the hearts on hers! I don't know if she heard me or not. I am hoping not so that she gets a nice surprise in the morning! It was a fun 2 days of attempted heart attacking, and I guess potentially a couple people will get a few hearts to find in the morning! I did kinda do a drive by at Caleb's tonight and the hearts were still there so I think because of last night (it was scary...) she was a little paranoid.. not that we shouldn't be. But this time maybe Caleb will see some hearts on his car and know he was thought of! Or maybe he will have known of the few from last night and know that he was thought of twice in a row... I don't really know. I don't know that he knows or will know it was me. I am kind of hoping not because I don't know how he is going to react or how he reacted before (if he knew) so I guess I will find out at the bbq/pool party later! Well I should be gettin to bed! Just so you know... I don't plan on doing any more heart attacking for awhile!!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Food Blog
The other night my mom made homemade beef and noodles for dinner (even the noodles were homemade) we were sitting at the table and eating like normal. Than my nephew Elijah says "I don't want this poo-poo on my plate" as he was picking the beef out of the noodles on his plate and putting them onto the table. We couldn't convince him that it was meat and ok to eat. He gave it all to grandpa! (well grandpa volunteered to take it of course...)
Last week my friend Caleb gave me a friendship bread starter bag. It was a Ziploc bag that had some liquid-y like stuff in it and a direction sheet. Basically what you do is mix the starter a couple times a day for 6 days, on day 6 (he wrote the date for day 6 on the bag) you have to add some sugar, milk and flour. Mix it all up (still in the bag) than on day 10 (again the date was written already) you put it in a bowl, add more milk, sugar and flour, than you take and put 1c of the mix into 3 one gallon Ziploc bags (to give to friends) and with what is left in the bowl you add more ingredients (all on the direction sheet) and you bake the bread. So today I baked some bread! It was really good! I had debated about maybe using pumpkin pie spice instead of cinnamon in the recipe.. I think I may keep one of my starter bags instead of giving them all away and try that for next time (in which case I will have 3 more bags to give out anyway) Anyway today when I was working on my bread I discovered we are out of baking soda at my house! So were 4 of my neighbors! Go figure... but then my mom went to someone she knows up the street (we really didn't want to go to the store, she had just gotten back from there) who-ever she went to talk to had just bought some today!! Luckily for me! Anyway it sure was fun! And delicious!
Well that's my food blog! In other news I survived my first week back at college. It's going to be a kinda hectic summer school session but I am ready for it. (I hope) I do like my teachers! I was a little drowsy today but I haven't fallen asleep in class which is good! It hasn't been good for my knee though. I park as close as I can to the building I am in, but it doesn't seem close enough, and having to go upstairs for my first class, doesn't help much either. But at the same time I know that I shouldn't be having problems with stairs at this point, at least I don't think I should... The other thing that I think is contributing to it is the chair-desk things. I am a short girl and so the way I have my leg it isn't really comfortable. I need some sort of foot rest or stool or something and that may help, but the back of the chair in front of me isn't really working because it also puts my knee at an uncomfy angle. So yeah it pretty much sucks! I am debating about calling the doctor about the pain since I am not scheduled to go in until July 6th... I did call and get more pain meds and have been taking them too :( which I don't like to do! I really wish it was feeling better still and not seeming like it is getting worse again! It's really starting to make me feel as if I won't be able to return to work on an ambulance! I hope that the CHP dispatch stuff pans out and if not I hope I can find dispatch work somewhere else preferably local. But as of a few weeks ago when I last looked nobody else was hiring for dispatch! I do feel I am where I need to be right now, but I wish things were going a little differently than they are. I am broke beyond measure and don't know when I will get any money for awhile... so it's a little hectic but I am surviving! At least trying to!
Last week my friend Caleb gave me a friendship bread starter bag. It was a Ziploc bag that had some liquid-y like stuff in it and a direction sheet. Basically what you do is mix the starter a couple times a day for 6 days, on day 6 (he wrote the date for day 6 on the bag) you have to add some sugar, milk and flour. Mix it all up (still in the bag) than on day 10 (again the date was written already) you put it in a bowl, add more milk, sugar and flour, than you take and put 1c of the mix into 3 one gallon Ziploc bags (to give to friends) and with what is left in the bowl you add more ingredients (all on the direction sheet) and you bake the bread. So today I baked some bread! It was really good! I had debated about maybe using pumpkin pie spice instead of cinnamon in the recipe.. I think I may keep one of my starter bags instead of giving them all away and try that for next time (in which case I will have 3 more bags to give out anyway) Anyway today when I was working on my bread I discovered we are out of baking soda at my house! So were 4 of my neighbors! Go figure... but then my mom went to someone she knows up the street (we really didn't want to go to the store, she had just gotten back from there) who-ever she went to talk to had just bought some today!! Luckily for me! Anyway it sure was fun! And delicious!
Well that's my food blog! In other news I survived my first week back at college. It's going to be a kinda hectic summer school session but I am ready for it. (I hope) I do like my teachers! I was a little drowsy today but I haven't fallen asleep in class which is good! It hasn't been good for my knee though. I park as close as I can to the building I am in, but it doesn't seem close enough, and having to go upstairs for my first class, doesn't help much either. But at the same time I know that I shouldn't be having problems with stairs at this point, at least I don't think I should... The other thing that I think is contributing to it is the chair-desk things. I am a short girl and so the way I have my leg it isn't really comfortable. I need some sort of foot rest or stool or something and that may help, but the back of the chair in front of me isn't really working because it also puts my knee at an uncomfy angle. So yeah it pretty much sucks! I am debating about calling the doctor about the pain since I am not scheduled to go in until July 6th... I did call and get more pain meds and have been taking them too :( which I don't like to do! I really wish it was feeling better still and not seeming like it is getting worse again! It's really starting to make me feel as if I won't be able to return to work on an ambulance! I hope that the CHP dispatch stuff pans out and if not I hope I can find dispatch work somewhere else preferably local. But as of a few weeks ago when I last looked nobody else was hiring for dispatch! I do feel I am where I need to be right now, but I wish things were going a little differently than they are. I am broke beyond measure and don't know when I will get any money for awhile... so it's a little hectic but I am surviving! At least trying to!
Monday, June 22, 2009
First Day Back....
It went mostly well. One teacher seems really strict with her teaching styles and grading and the other is fairly laid back. One has a couple 3 page papers to write (very specifically done with margins font etc) and 2 tests (midterm and final) and the other has 3 more lose styled papers to write and a total of 4 or 5 tests. Plus 2 extra credit papers. I think I like him more even though there are more tests.....
Both teachers seem to be energetic in their lecturing which is nice since it is 2 history classes back to back starting at 8 am.... so hopefully I can keep up in note taking and not fall asleep. I am already behind just a little on my reading, but I am planning to make it up tomorrow afternoon!
I was quickly reminded today how big the campus really is, and just how many stairs there are as you travel across the campus. I was hurting quite a bit today and ended up calling the doctor's office for a refill on my pain meds. I unfortunately ran out just the other day... But I have some more now and I think I will let my teachers know about my situation and how sitting in those desks I cannot really get my leg comfortable. I may have to stand from time to time even if they're lecturing. I am going to try to minimize pain med usage if I can.
This afternoon I got to go to lunch with Collin! It was amazing! Than we came back to my house, looked in the old yearbooks... played Tetris on the nintendo and just visited awhile. We also went by my sisters house for a few minutes! He said he will try and stop by again later this week before he has to leave again! I miss him so much when he is gone! It always makes me feel better to visit with him! Between his visit and unexpectedly staying at FHE longer than I had anticipated is the reason for my being behind in reading. I am off to bed now, so I can get through tomorrow. I will have to catch up on reading and write my first paper... should be loads of fun.... or something like that! :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
College life
So right out of high school I did some college. I went to Moorpark and had gotten a lot of general ed stuff done. I was there from the fall of 97 to fall of 99. Than in Jan 200 I had wrist surgery and have had many since and went to work as an EMT and never really went back to school except for EMS related stuff. I have known for a month or so now that I was going to be running out of disability income on the 19th, I learned yesterday that because my doctor appointment isn't until the end of the month even though my money runs out on the 19th, I cannot collect unemployment until after the 26th when my disability is up. That only being if the doctor releases me to be eligible for work again in any compacity. Than there is a 3 week turn around for unemployment. After the 3 weeks they will either do a phone interview (which she said I likely won't need) and then take 10 days to make a decision and then start paying me, or if I don't need the interview it will still be like 10-12 days before they start processing any checks for me. So I won't have any income until the end of July either way. But the uneployment lady I spoke with suggested I file for a federal grant that is for the uneployed and go back to school. This way I would have the grant money to help me financially. So I signed up again for moorpark college. I applied for financial aid and today I went to the college and spoke with a counselor. I got a copy of my transcript and she showed me what I need to get my associates. I only need like 4 classes! With the classes I have taken and the 4 I need to take I will probably be able to get my associates with an emphasis on physical science or humanities!!
Based on what I need to take and what I would like to take from the options I came uip with a couple ideas on what to register for. Unfortunately since the second part of the summer session starts next week those options were already full. :-( but I found 2 other classes that I do need that will also apply for the associates and so I am registered to take 2 history classes. It will be 6 units of school. One is western civilization 2, which covers from the 17th century until the present and the other is the history of the american woman! I'm not really sure what I have gotten myself into but I know it will be exciting! I will be in class from 8-10:15 than from 10:30 to 12:45 on Mon-Thurs! If nothing else it will get me out of my current late night sleep in habit which I have been wanting to break! I am excited though! I am ready for a change and it will be exciting to possibly by the end of next semester say I have a degree! It's pretty crazy! It's all so last minute and I don't really know what to think but I am glad! I've kinda wanted to go back to school a bunch of times but because of health reasons or work conflicts I never really could and now I am!
In the meanwhile I have applied to test for CHP for a dispatcher position. I don't really know yet if they have accepted my application and if I am going to be able to test but I really hope so. Maybe I will be doing all my testing and stuff for them and able to get hired on about the time I finish school and be able to start working than! It would be amazing if I get the grant and am able to stay up with my bills this summer than get my unemployment (which will retro pay me for the month of July once everything is processed) and then return to a working environment! I really hope it all works out!
I guess this week once I get my check I need to go buy some school supplies... that seems really weird to me, I also need to get my history books! I guess on Fri it will be another trip to the college for me!
Based on what I need to take and what I would like to take from the options I came uip with a couple ideas on what to register for. Unfortunately since the second part of the summer session starts next week those options were already full. :-( but I found 2 other classes that I do need that will also apply for the associates and so I am registered to take 2 history classes. It will be 6 units of school. One is western civilization 2, which covers from the 17th century until the present and the other is the history of the american woman! I'm not really sure what I have gotten myself into but I know it will be exciting! I will be in class from 8-10:15 than from 10:30 to 12:45 on Mon-Thurs! If nothing else it will get me out of my current late night sleep in habit which I have been wanting to break! I am excited though! I am ready for a change and it will be exciting to possibly by the end of next semester say I have a degree! It's pretty crazy! It's all so last minute and I don't really know what to think but I am glad! I've kinda wanted to go back to school a bunch of times but because of health reasons or work conflicts I never really could and now I am!
In the meanwhile I have applied to test for CHP for a dispatcher position. I don't really know yet if they have accepted my application and if I am going to be able to test but I really hope so. Maybe I will be doing all my testing and stuff for them and able to get hired on about the time I finish school and be able to start working than! It would be amazing if I get the grant and am able to stay up with my bills this summer than get my unemployment (which will retro pay me for the month of July once everything is processed) and then return to a working environment! I really hope it all works out!
I guess this week once I get my check I need to go buy some school supplies... that seems really weird to me, I also need to get my history books! I guess on Fri it will be another trip to the college for me!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Looks like bird poo to me
I recently (a few months back) bought two fruit trees from Costco. I bought 1 mandarin orange tree and 1 Italian lemon tree. They were passed the seedling stage but not full sized. They are sorta small in size still, and still in the pots they came in, I think it is a 1 or 2 gallon size pot. They are doing well and seem to maybe have grown some. After I bought the trees I called my uncle Charles to ask him if they had to be planted in ground or could I keep them in large pots. He told me they would do very well in pots, but not to transplant them too soon, or the root structure wouldn't go right. He said about every year or so they would need to be transplanted. I could watch for the roots to start growing out the bottom of the pot and that was the time to move up in pot size. So that's my plan. Since it hasn't been a year yet and I don't see roots they are staying in their current pots! He also gave me watering advice but I don't want to bore you with all my plant care.... (but feel free to ask if you are curious) The mandarin tree is on the left, lemon on the right. 
There has been 1 mandarin growing for quite some time now on my little tree (see first picture below, you can see it and if you look down and little to the left of it, you'll see two other smaller ones) and lately it is getting bigger and more colorful. Well not orange really but instead of dark green like they start it is lighter and a little yellower. We are also starting to see more buds forming on both trees. But recently I also noticed that there were also some holes appearing on the leaves of the mandarin tree. The kind you see on leaves after something has been munching there. I have looked periodically to find the culprit but without any luck. I have noticed a few times some spiderweb like stuff that I have cleared off it and occasionally little black bugs that have not been allowed to stay there! But so far nothing has been big enough to be the hole eating bugs! Ugh..... Both the first pictures are mandarins and the third is a group of lemon buds....
Tonight I was outside on a phone call. I was sitting on a box type thing we have outside and I wasn't really paying much attention. Than I noticed what looked like a huge clump of bird poo on one of the stems for my tree. I got another leaf to try and clean it off and it moved!!! I found a black,white and gray caterpillar on my tree!!!!! It was pretty darn ugly looking! It really does look like bird poo! So then I got a container to put him in (for my nephews and such) and I looked around and found another one. This one was even uglier because he looks slimy too!!! It was incredible! I guess it's a pretty good camouflage because we all thought it was bird poo until it moved. My mom said something about thinking she saw bird poo on it the other day and i said it probably was the caterpillar! My mom and sister and I continued to look and were unable to find any more and it seems they were only on the mandarin tree. I am not really sure where they come from and how they found my tree but I finally found the culprits. I guess I need to pay more attention to bird poo than I thought! Sometimes it lives!
Well I figured I would also post a couple recent pictures. The 3 are from the day before I layered my hair, I had curled it the night before. It was fun! I love curling my hair from time to time. I was also trying out some new eye shadow colors that day. The next two are of my new dress I wore today. I love it. Although the pictures aren't as nice as I would have preferred! It's way cuter in person! I got so many compliments today it was unbelievable!
On other news, although he has been "able" to for awhile in the past couple days my nephew Isaiah has finally decided he likes walking a little more often than crawling! It's so cute! He is still a little unsteady and walks kinda zombie-ish with his arms out in front of him for balance! It's so cute! Well I think I am gonna end here! I'm sure with the pictures this blog is getting a little long! Love to all my readers! Have a great week!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Names have been changed...
I have mentioned in a past post about how I rarely remember my dreams. It seems like I cannot usually remember them unless they are really unusual. Well in the past 2 nights I have had 2 dreams that I remember. One left me feeling pretty good and I was mad that I woke up without seeing anything more and the one last night left me kinda creeped out.... I have changed names to protect those involved! :)
Sunday night's dream:
In this dream the setting was I think my backyard... not 100% sure if it was my house or not, but I do know it was a backyard and it was a party event. Although I don't know why we were having a party. It seemed to me like I was the host of the party but I wasn't really doing much hosting either. The scene I recall from the dream was very short. So we had long rectangular tables set up in the back for the party. It was night time and dark out but there were lights or the moon or something. I don't really remember. At the end of the table was a guy I'll call "Gary" and next to him at what would be like the head of the table was a guy I'll call "Bob". Across from Gary was another guy but I don't know a name or anything about him I just know there was someone there. As I said I felt like I was hosting this party but I wasn't doing much hosting. In fact it seems like I was still having knee problems in the dream because I had some sort of new knee brace on. (It was different from the ones I currently have...) I sat down next to Gary. In front of him was a huge piece of carrot cake. It was Gary's cake. For some reason in the dream i knew that was the last piece of cake too. (but I don't know if that really has any sort of significance) so all of a sudden Bob kinda scooted his chair closer to Gary and with his hand took like half of his piece of cake and ate it. Gary didn't seem to mind and actually got his fork and started eating the cake too. So in the dream up to this point I had kinda liked Gary but witnessing this made me think that maybe Gary and Bob were a couple (yuck...) so I was kinda of sad. But around the same time my knee was getting sore and so I kinda put it up (I'm not sure on what) but I put it up right next to Gary's leg. It wasn't on his leg but I think I kinda wanted it to be, it was really close to it though. At the same time that I was putting my leg up next to Gary's,Bob walked away. As soon as he was gone Gary made a move like he was stretching/yawning (like you always see guys do in movies to put their arm around a girl) and it made me feel nice because it seemed like Gary was about to do that to me,and so I knew at that point he was not interested in Bob at all. But than all of a sudden instead of putting his arm around me he started massaging my knee. Which was what I had been wanting to do, but I hadn't wanted to draw attention to the fact that my knee was hurting. So it felt really nice and it was like he knew how I was feeling! So it was an even nicer feeling than if he had put his arm around me because it was like we were connected. ...... than I woke up!!!!! Dang it! I wanted to know what happened between Gary and I from there...... there was no conversation at all in that dream! I will say though that Gary is someone in my current life that I am interested in getting to know more about... but nobody knows really knows about him in my current life situation... so if you're reading this and know about someone I may like.... it's not who you're thinking of....
So last night dream #2:
This dream was the one that kinda creeped me out a bit... it also involves the same guy from my current life, "Gary" in this dream I had been at a friends house I'll call her "Rose"... we were hanging out with her and her close guy friend "Sean". But it was getting late so I was going to go home. On the way home I had decided to go check the clearance rack for some fabric. But I didn't go to a fabric store. It was actually the library, but in the back of the library was like a JoAnn's fabric store with all the fabric and craft stuff. But it was all connected. (I told you this one was creepy and weird) The other thing that was odd about it was once I got inside I wasn't wearing clothes anymore I had my shower towels on. It was like I had just taken a shower at Rose's house before I left for home, but didn't want to put my dirty clothes back on for the shopping. So here I was at the library/fabric store and I wanted to check the clearance rack to get some discount fabric. When I saw a customer I knew from awhile ago from a previous job (actually in the dream I saw several people I used to know from work...), she was on the computer's trying to find some sort of gardening book and asked me for help to look it up. So I went to the computer near her and was starting to look, when Gary came and sat next to me. At this point I didn't think he recognized me, so I kinda leaned sideways so my hair towel would fall between us because I didn't want him to see me basically naked. He didn't seem to realize it was me. I even tried to not talk at that point so he wouldn't hear my voice either. So I finished there and quickly tried to go to where the clearance racks should be. (at this point I still don't know why I am not dressed and I don't know why I didn't go get my clothes on but I didn't) I got to the fabric part of the store and it was completely desolate, there were barely even any scraps to look through. I was disappointed, but I went to go to the bathroom to call Rose and tell her that Gary was there and while walking down the hallway towards the girls room Gary was coming the other direction out of the hallway. He said hi and I was so embarrassed I barely said hi back and kept walking. Somehow after this point I managed to get some brown pants on and a white blouse but for some reason I was still struggling to keep my towel around me because I still felt I was being immodest and didn't want Gary to see me. But he sat down at a desk thing and I was sitting next to him, he was there to study and some of his flash cards got mangled and fell to the floor. I picked them up for him and was trying to straighten them out and was offering to help him re-write them on new 3x5 cards when Rose came up behind us. I don't remember calling her but there she was. So I introduced her to him and she was kind of behind us where we were sitting. ...... Gary was asking about what we had been doing and so we told him we had been hanging out at Rose's house and I said but there was someone else there I just don't remember who and neither could Rose. It was weird... I think I just couldn't remember Sean being there but Rose didn't want to say it was Sean who was there.... (then there is a pause because I don't remember anything from that moment to this next part of the dream) .... so we had been sitting at the one desk thing and the next thing I remember we were in a different part of the library and it was just Rose and I and there was some other girl I don't know sitting behind me. Rose was standing and I was on a tall stool thing. At that point Rose tells me "be careful with him, he just tried to kiss me" but for some reason in the dream I couldn't remember him being with her without me present. The girl sitting behind me was like "yeah it's true I kinda saw it" but I still felt it wasn't true. It wasn't that I thought Rose was lying I was trusting her 100% with what she was telling me but I couldn't remember him being close enough to her to try and kiss her.... then Gary came over to where we were and we were all kinda hanging out and I was like "I just remembered it was Sean who we were with" and Rose kinda gave me a dirty look like she didn't want me to mention we had been hanging out with a guy but than she was like "yeah my boyfriend is weird like that" to make herself seem unavailable so that Gary would feel guilty about trying to kiss her and not me. Then I remember thinking I had clothes in my car that I could put on so that I wouldn't have to walk around in my towel anymore so I was going to go do that but when I went to the front doors of the library they were starting to lock up to close, but I looked at my watch and it was 2:17am. I was surprised they were locking up so early because they were supposed to be open until 2:30. So I didn't go out because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get back in, so I went back to Gary and Rose and told them it was time to go they were locking up. So Gary gathered his books to leave I had my towel and Rose didn't have anything.... that's when I woke up...... I don't know what any of it means!!! But it was really creeepy!
Sunday night's dream:
In this dream the setting was I think my backyard... not 100% sure if it was my house or not, but I do know it was a backyard and it was a party event. Although I don't know why we were having a party. It seemed to me like I was the host of the party but I wasn't really doing much hosting either. The scene I recall from the dream was very short. So we had long rectangular tables set up in the back for the party. It was night time and dark out but there were lights or the moon or something. I don't really remember. At the end of the table was a guy I'll call "Gary" and next to him at what would be like the head of the table was a guy I'll call "Bob". Across from Gary was another guy but I don't know a name or anything about him I just know there was someone there. As I said I felt like I was hosting this party but I wasn't doing much hosting. In fact it seems like I was still having knee problems in the dream because I had some sort of new knee brace on. (It was different from the ones I currently have...) I sat down next to Gary. In front of him was a huge piece of carrot cake. It was Gary's cake. For some reason in the dream i knew that was the last piece of cake too. (but I don't know if that really has any sort of significance) so all of a sudden Bob kinda scooted his chair closer to Gary and with his hand took like half of his piece of cake and ate it. Gary didn't seem to mind and actually got his fork and started eating the cake too. So in the dream up to this point I had kinda liked Gary but witnessing this made me think that maybe Gary and Bob were a couple (yuck...) so I was kinda of sad. But around the same time my knee was getting sore and so I kinda put it up (I'm not sure on what) but I put it up right next to Gary's leg. It wasn't on his leg but I think I kinda wanted it to be, it was really close to it though. At the same time that I was putting my leg up next to Gary's,Bob walked away. As soon as he was gone Gary made a move like he was stretching/yawning (like you always see guys do in movies to put their arm around a girl) and it made me feel nice because it seemed like Gary was about to do that to me,and so I knew at that point he was not interested in Bob at all. But than all of a sudden instead of putting his arm around me he started massaging my knee. Which was what I had been wanting to do, but I hadn't wanted to draw attention to the fact that my knee was hurting. So it felt really nice and it was like he knew how I was feeling! So it was an even nicer feeling than if he had put his arm around me because it was like we were connected. ...... than I woke up!!!!! Dang it! I wanted to know what happened between Gary and I from there...... there was no conversation at all in that dream! I will say though that Gary is someone in my current life that I am interested in getting to know more about... but nobody knows really knows about him in my current life situation... so if you're reading this and know about someone I may like.... it's not who you're thinking of....
So last night dream #2:
This dream was the one that kinda creeped me out a bit... it also involves the same guy from my current life, "Gary" in this dream I had been at a friends house I'll call her "Rose"... we were hanging out with her and her close guy friend "Sean". But it was getting late so I was going to go home. On the way home I had decided to go check the clearance rack for some fabric. But I didn't go to a fabric store. It was actually the library, but in the back of the library was like a JoAnn's fabric store with all the fabric and craft stuff. But it was all connected. (I told you this one was creepy and weird) The other thing that was odd about it was once I got inside I wasn't wearing clothes anymore I had my shower towels on. It was like I had just taken a shower at Rose's house before I left for home, but didn't want to put my dirty clothes back on for the shopping. So here I was at the library/fabric store and I wanted to check the clearance rack to get some discount fabric. When I saw a customer I knew from awhile ago from a previous job (actually in the dream I saw several people I used to know from work...), she was on the computer's trying to find some sort of gardening book and asked me for help to look it up. So I went to the computer near her and was starting to look, when Gary came and sat next to me. At this point I didn't think he recognized me, so I kinda leaned sideways so my hair towel would fall between us because I didn't want him to see me basically naked. He didn't seem to realize it was me. I even tried to not talk at that point so he wouldn't hear my voice either. So I finished there and quickly tried to go to where the clearance racks should be. (at this point I still don't know why I am not dressed and I don't know why I didn't go get my clothes on but I didn't) I got to the fabric part of the store and it was completely desolate, there were barely even any scraps to look through. I was disappointed, but I went to go to the bathroom to call Rose and tell her that Gary was there and while walking down the hallway towards the girls room Gary was coming the other direction out of the hallway. He said hi and I was so embarrassed I barely said hi back and kept walking. Somehow after this point I managed to get some brown pants on and a white blouse but for some reason I was still struggling to keep my towel around me because I still felt I was being immodest and didn't want Gary to see me. But he sat down at a desk thing and I was sitting next to him, he was there to study and some of his flash cards got mangled and fell to the floor. I picked them up for him and was trying to straighten them out and was offering to help him re-write them on new 3x5 cards when Rose came up behind us. I don't remember calling her but there she was. So I introduced her to him and she was kind of behind us where we were sitting. ...... Gary was asking about what we had been doing and so we told him we had been hanging out at Rose's house and I said but there was someone else there I just don't remember who and neither could Rose. It was weird... I think I just couldn't remember Sean being there but Rose didn't want to say it was Sean who was there.... (then there is a pause because I don't remember anything from that moment to this next part of the dream) .... so we had been sitting at the one desk thing and the next thing I remember we were in a different part of the library and it was just Rose and I and there was some other girl I don't know sitting behind me. Rose was standing and I was on a tall stool thing. At that point Rose tells me "be careful with him, he just tried to kiss me" but for some reason in the dream I couldn't remember him being with her without me present. The girl sitting behind me was like "yeah it's true I kinda saw it" but I still felt it wasn't true. It wasn't that I thought Rose was lying I was trusting her 100% with what she was telling me but I couldn't remember him being close enough to her to try and kiss her.... then Gary came over to where we were and we were all kinda hanging out and I was like "I just remembered it was Sean who we were with" and Rose kinda gave me a dirty look like she didn't want me to mention we had been hanging out with a guy but than she was like "yeah my boyfriend is weird like that" to make herself seem unavailable so that Gary would feel guilty about trying to kiss her and not me. Then I remember thinking I had clothes in my car that I could put on so that I wouldn't have to walk around in my towel anymore so I was going to go do that but when I went to the front doors of the library they were starting to lock up to close, but I looked at my watch and it was 2:17am. I was surprised they were locking up so early because they were supposed to be open until 2:30. So I didn't go out because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get back in, so I went back to Gary and Rose and told them it was time to go they were locking up. So Gary gathered his books to leave I had my towel and Rose didn't have anything.... that's when I woke up...... I don't know what any of it means!!! But it was really creeepy!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Crying
I had a really good day at church! They pretty much all are, than tonight after hanging out at my sister's house for a little while (I really just didn't want to be at home an I had something for her so I went there with Elijah) I got online. Last week I had filled out an online application for the CHP for a dispatcher position but when I filled it out and printed it I didn't find where to send it to or turn it in. So I had decided this week I needed to make that happen! I got online back to their website and first I updated it a little. I made it sound a little better (I hope) and looked around on the site until I found more info. I found out they are accepting applications and will be testing later this month or in July, they are even looking for people for the Ventura center which is perfect because that is where I want to work.... than after doing all that and printing a newer nicer application I found and printed the other information. As I was reading it I noticed it said the final filing date was June 4th. It stated all applications must be received or postmarked by June 4th..... today is the 7th!!!!! UGH!!! At the end of last year when I was first contemplating going into dispatch I had a similar experience. I had gotten an application for Simi PD they were accepting applications on a continual basis. With it there was a requirement to get a typing certificate, but there were certain days and times when you could test. You also needed an appointment. I made an appointment and then ended up going out of town unexpectedly so I had to reschedule. When I rescheduled I had to wait until the next week because they were booked and didn't have any openings. I got my certificate and when I went to turn in the application I found out about a week or two before the city went on a hiring freeze and were no longer accepting applications!!! If on;y I hadn't gone! It's really really frustrating! It's kinda dircouraging but I know at the same time that I had some problems when i first took my EMT class with getting my certification (not with testing but with the actual card) and it was starting to discourage me and I ended up not trying to get a job until 2 years later after having to re-cert... so although I don't want to wait 2 years to do dispatch I know I need to not let this get me down! It may just be a hurdle and although I cannot jump to get over it, I am sure if I try and i can find a way around it!
I really miss being on the ambulance and have been praying about whether or not to try dispatch for awhile before going back as an EMT. Plus with my knee not being fully healed it will still be some time anyway. There are a lot of pros/cons to both. But I had felt last week that I had gotten a confirmation in the positive to try this out. I was actually getting pretty excited about it too! But now I am starting to get discouraged! I really don't know what to think say or do. My mom told me to mail the app anyway and see what happens. So I am going to do that but it's 4 days late so they may not even accept it! Simi PD is still not looking for dispatchers according to their website, neither is Ventura County Sheriff, Ventura PD, I don't qualify for everything that Oxnard PD wants, LA PD isn't looking and neither is LA or Ventura county fire depts. CHP might have been my only hope right now and I think I blew it.... UGH....
The other thing on my mind is I have been out of work since June 19th! So guess what?...on June 19th I lose my disability benefits!!! I will no longer have any income, which means I won't be able to make my car payments, pay my cell phone bill, have gas in my car, or be able to make my debt management payment either!!! I was told because I lost my job due to being on disability I can apply and get unemployment now, but for the past 2 weeks every time I have attempted to call them to see if it's true and if I apply normally or it is connected directly to my disability I haven't been able to speak to a representative due to the "number of callers already on hold"!!! Tonight I emailed them so I can hopefully get a response, but generally with unemployment you are supposed to be in good health and actively looking for work, but as of right now with my knee I am not even released back to work anyway so I technically can't . I figured I could maybe get away with a dispatch desk job. Plus I knew with the hiring process and testing and background checks I could be released to work by the time I would be starting anyway... so I don't know what is going to happen to me!
Than I went onto facebook. I came across some of my old coworkers! I added them as friends and got to talk to a couple tonight! It makes me miss work even more. SO I was crying while chatting with them on facebook (only because it's the internet they don't know I was crying) and even though I was hearing about the changes and people who have left or are leaving etc it still makes me miss it! I loved my job! I want to go back!! I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I know it will all be ok! I just wish it wasn't so darn hard in the meanwhile!! Well I have to watch my nephews tomorrow and it's almost 2:30 am so I should probably get some sleep! Keep me in your prayers I am going to need a miracle I think!
I really miss being on the ambulance and have been praying about whether or not to try dispatch for awhile before going back as an EMT. Plus with my knee not being fully healed it will still be some time anyway. There are a lot of pros/cons to both. But I had felt last week that I had gotten a confirmation in the positive to try this out. I was actually getting pretty excited about it too! But now I am starting to get discouraged! I really don't know what to think say or do. My mom told me to mail the app anyway and see what happens. So I am going to do that but it's 4 days late so they may not even accept it! Simi PD is still not looking for dispatchers according to their website, neither is Ventura County Sheriff, Ventura PD, I don't qualify for everything that Oxnard PD wants, LA PD isn't looking and neither is LA or Ventura county fire depts. CHP might have been my only hope right now and I think I blew it.... UGH....
The other thing on my mind is I have been out of work since June 19th! So guess what?...on June 19th I lose my disability benefits!!! I will no longer have any income, which means I won't be able to make my car payments, pay my cell phone bill, have gas in my car, or be able to make my debt management payment either!!! I was told because I lost my job due to being on disability I can apply and get unemployment now, but for the past 2 weeks every time I have attempted to call them to see if it's true and if I apply normally or it is connected directly to my disability I haven't been able to speak to a representative due to the "number of callers already on hold"!!! Tonight I emailed them so I can hopefully get a response, but generally with unemployment you are supposed to be in good health and actively looking for work, but as of right now with my knee I am not even released back to work anyway so I technically can't . I figured I could maybe get away with a dispatch desk job. Plus I knew with the hiring process and testing and background checks I could be released to work by the time I would be starting anyway... so I don't know what is going to happen to me!
Than I went onto facebook. I came across some of my old coworkers! I added them as friends and got to talk to a couple tonight! It makes me miss work even more. SO I was crying while chatting with them on facebook (only because it's the internet they don't know I was crying) and even though I was hearing about the changes and people who have left or are leaving etc it still makes me miss it! I loved my job! I want to go back!! I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I know it will all be ok! I just wish it wasn't so darn hard in the meanwhile!! Well I have to watch my nephews tomorrow and it's almost 2:30 am so I should probably get some sleep! Keep me in your prayers I am going to need a miracle I think!
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