Press 1 for English

Ok so I obviously have been on disability for awhile with my knee injury and surgery and stuff... This has been interesting to me for awhile now but I haven't written about it yet.... until now..... so when I call the disability office to find out whether they've processed my check or what have you there's a recording. It says something along the lines of "thank you for calling the state disability office.... yadda yadda yadda." Than she says something in spanish "hola......" where one would assume it would be giving the spanish extension or instructions or what have you. So then she says "if you'd like to hear the message in english press 1" (So at this point I press 1.....but if I don't push 1 right away it does continue in spanish and says something that I think is "press 2 for spanish") after pressing 1 I get a message that says "we have a toll free number for our spanish speaking customers the number is @@@-@@@-@@@@." Ok so why would I want them to give me the number for spanish speaking if I already pressed 1 for english??? That's all I want to know? Especially since they'd already said something in spanish so wouldn't they be better off giving the number than?? Not that I have any problems with the spanish speaking population I just wonder how many would press 1 for english expecting to hear the number for spanish???

Non addiction

Ok so things are starting to settle a little bit.... my knee is getting to where it isn't constantly hurting except when I do my exercises or to much activity. I am glad about that because even though I am really careful not to take more pain pills than I should I am paranoid about becoming addicted. It is bad enough I will verify how many I have taken in how long of a time...for instance.... about a week before my surgery I was having a pain day and was going to take a vicodin.... it was the last one in the bottle so when I took it I checked the date on the bottle that I had filled the pills... it was a bottle of 30 and I had filled it in late Oct. So in 3 months I took 30 pills (when Icould've taken 1-2 pills every 4-6 hours as needed) On fri I took my last pill from the bottle of percocet given to me for post-op. I had 50 pills that I took over 15 days. I now have another bottle of 50. I take on average 2-3 a day now. After my operation I was taking 2 pills every 4 hours like clockwork because I was hurting so much. I don't really know why I am sharing this.... but it seemd right! I guess I should say things overall seem to be improving. THe exercises (especially the bending ones) hurt tons but thats normal. I got my stitches out on Fri. I have 3 incisions.... I call them the small medium and large marks, because one had 1 stitch, one had 2 stitches and the third spot had 3 stitches. Maybe later I will post pictures... with the stitches and currently. I also had asked for a phot printout of the xray with my screws in from post-op but forgot to get it before leaving the dr office.... so I will have to get that later too!

It's kinda weird to think that I have the achilles tendon from a cadaver in my knee but I am thankful that the person whose body it was taken from was willing to be a donor, or for their family member making that choice! I have always felt that I would like my organs to be donated but I never imagined I would be a donor recipient. I guess it's a little different since it's not really an organ... but it was still a blessing to me! The other option for the surgery is they take a part of your own hamstring muscle to use for the graft... but that increases the pain and recovery so its ok with me that they didn't. Another thing I am thankful for is being able to take a plastic bag free shower now! Once the stitches came out I was able to get my leg wet again! Yippee!! I still have to wear the large and most annoying brace for walking and sleeping but I also got permission to not wear it for showering as long as I am super careful not to put my full weight on my leg or to slip (i know what you are thinking...that's not a safe bet for me... but I am being extra extra extra careful not to) SO um yeah! Showering is nice! The next step I am looking forward to is not needing to wear the brace to bed, and to not have to keep it locked straight for ambulation. I have to do that for about 2 more weeks. I guess after 4 weeks than I don't have as much of a risk of my knee slipping which could potentially tear the graft. But I don't know if at that time I still have to wear the brace but am allowed to unlock it.... or if I'm done with it all together. But now that I am more active again (just in a walking around since... not a lot though because it still hurts) I am having problems with the brace slipping down my leg though. It waas kinda happening before but not as much. But if I tighten the straps to keep it up than it reduces circulation and my foot and ankle swell.... if I leave it barely loose it slips once I am moving around which than puts my knee at risk again! I can't stand it! I had asked my doctor how to keep it up and he said that's a commmon complaint and the best suggestion is to tighten the strap around the calf... but it doesn't work!!!!! UGH... I think that tomorrow I am going to call the company where I got the brace from and ask them if they have any suggestions, or to see if I come in there if there is maybe something they can do to adjust it so it maybe fits a little better and won't slip as much...we shall see! Anyway I think I should be off to bed now!

Fighting with my sister

Ok so I don't fully want to write this blog because i know what most of the comments will say about praying and apologizing and stuff but I want to get this off my chest.
Tonight I got into a fight with my older sister. I didn't want to and I feel bad about doing it but to some degree she started it (not that it makes it ok) I went into the kitchen to make some popcorn and she was in there. She was heating a tortilla and had put some beans on it, then turned around to use the microwave with it. Anyway my nephew came to the other side of the stove and was trying to grab a bowl off the stove where she had put another tortilla because he wanted it. I thought the bowl had cheese in it and I told him no and he yelled at me, I told him to stop and he yelled again so I smacked him on the butt (he had tried to run from me and I got ahold of him) and he got back onto the chair and was grabbing for the tortilla again so I said "fine have it" and I kinda tossed it toward him across the stove and it fell to the floor. In the meanwhile she turns around and was like "why'd you throw my tortilla on the ground?" I told her I didn't throw it that it had fallen anyway she got all ticked off and I was like "there's more tortilla's over there! I was giving it to him and it fell" she again accused me of throwing it and I said no I tossed it liked this (and showed with a different smaller tortilla, which also fell) and said "it fell just like that" anyway she kept going on about it and I was like "dude it's a fricking tortilla get over it" and she said something else and I forget what happened next exactly but then eventually I told her that maybe if she wouldn't yell at her kids so much they would act better for her. She was like "yeah keep telling me Im a horrible mother like Dad does and so and so does" and I (yelling pretty much the whole time at this point) was like "I never said you were a bad mother, Im' just saying that all you seem to do is yell at them and all this week after work all you did was play on the computer and ignore your kids" which of course she denied and I was like "I'm not the only one who noticed it" So she kept going on about how everyone keeps calling her a bad mother (which nobody ever has but if you criticise anything she says or does she says we are calling her one) so I kept yelling that I wasn't calling her a bad mother! Anyways she ended up saying something like "fine I'll just pack my bags and get out of here" and she went into her room. By now my younger nephew was crying and I apologised to him for yelling and scaring him and I later apologised to my older nephew for yelling and being a bad example. but I did not apologise to her. I couldn't bring myself to do it.
It's hard because even though I would never call her a bad mother it is so hard watching the way she is with my nephews. I feel so bad for them sometimes because she constantly gets mad at them, she doesn't seem to have any patience to deal with them. And she really does come home from work and play games on the computer and talks on her phone and basically ignores them unless she is yelling about something! It's sad. Or if you say something about one needing a diaper change its like "I know I was about to change it, when several minutes later she's still on the computer and if you mention it again she repeats it. Eventually we usually end up doing it ourselves or it takes like 3 mentions for her to get off her own butt and do it!! The baby is only 10 months old and for a long time now he doesn't sleep through the night and even months ago she would be all mad at him when she would be up with him during the night and in a stearn voice telling him "you need to go to sleep, Im tired of this crap! I have to go to work" etc etc!!!! He is an infant for gosh sake!!!! That's what babies do!!! I know she has been through a lot with their loser dad and recently getting divorced and stuff from him but don't take it out on your innocent kids!!! So tonight the things I was saying were true things and I wish I would've approached her about my feelings in a better way (because they've been bottled up ebcause i knew what ehr reactions would be) but I blew my top! So it's hard to apologize for that! I am going to try but in the meanwhile maybe she will finally take an outside look at herself and her attitude and be nicer to her kids! Maybe she will play more with them and give them the attention they want and deserve! Probably not but.... Thanks for letting me vent!

Hide a Rock

Ok so I have another surgical day story! We had to be at the surgical hospital at 6:20am and my sister Rhonda leaves for work around 8am. My mom had told me she would drop me off and stay with me until I went in for the surgery then come home to be with my nephews and since my Dad was in the hopital at the time she would bring them with her to come back and get me after the surgery. I told her that because of signing the discharge paperwork and risk of infection and so forth they probably wouldn't let her come into the recovery room and stuff with my nephews. So we had called my sister Deann to come over and be with the boys until my mom got home with me. SO in the pre-op room my mom got a text from Deann. She was at the house but hadn't brought her keys for our house with her and Rhonda wasn't answering the door. She tried calling her cell phone but she wasn't answering that either (Deann didn't know Rhonda leaves it in her purse in the front room) Deann didn't want to call Rhonda's house line because she didn't want to wake Isaiah (but Rhonda turns the ringer off on that phone anyway so that wouldn't have mattered or been effective either) I told my mom to tell Deann to look in the hide a rock for the house key. My mom said "we don't have a hide a rock" so I said I know thats why it's funny to tell her that. SO she did.... Deann's response was "where the heck* (*edited) do we have a hide a rock?" and I told my mom to tell her it is hidden. So she did..... Deann's next response was "ha ha very funny I am freezing!" anyway she went to her car or something to stay warm until eventually Rhonda got up and she was able to get in the house! Anyway I thought I was pretty clever and funny in the moments that could've been a stressful time for me as I prepared for surgery!!!

Loved

Ok so on Mon night I was still pretty sore with the recent surgery and all and I opted to not attend FHE in my ward. I had been to the dr that morning and gettting in and out of the car is a little tricky with my knee completely straight. Plus I didn't want to go up the stairs into the building used and the fact that they frequently play sports in FHE and I cannot currently do that either. Anyway I was at home on the couch with my cold unit on my knee and such. I had known that one of the missionaries in my ward was being transferred on Tues and they said they'd probably stop by between 7:30 and 8 so he could say goodbye to my family. It was getting close to 9 and I thought "I guess they aren't coming by" then there was a knock at the door.... someone answered it and I heard a guys voice saying something about whether or not I was awake and available to receive some gifts? I was thinking to myself "why would the missionaries bring me a gift?" anyways a member of my ward came in the house and he brought me several hearts and cards signed by ward members! They decided to do heart attacking in FHE that night and chose me as a recipient!!! I felt so loved! I received so many and I planned to take a picture to post and to post some of what they said (since some were kinda funny and stuff) but that will have to come later! ANyway it was nice to know I am loved!

priorities

Yesterday morning bright and early (actually it was early but not so bright) I went in for my operation! First off I muist say I was quite pleased when they didn't tell me at check in that I have a $1500 deductible to pay. I know it's supposed to be an annual thing but I think its cal;andar year not based on services. Whatever the reason I hope I don't get a bill for it! I went in and they had me change into the lovely gown and stuff. I got an IV and saw the anesthesiologist came in and talked to me. Then Dr Davis came in. He stamped my leg with a "YES" so I knew they would operate on the right leg (well actually the left leg) he asked if I had any questions and I didn't. I was ready to go. Life was good, considering I was about to have an operation. So then the anesthsiologist came back and gave me something in my IV to start the process. I was taken to the operating room. Before I went in they had taken my glasses off. so I was blind. When I was being rolled into the room I could see someone sitting in there but couldn't tell who. I guess I was squinting (as most people do when they can't see without glasses or contacts) and he said "it's me Adam" so I said hi. (Adam is Dr Davis' physicians assistant) so then they had me scoot over to the table I put out my left arm on the thing and they got me one for my right arm. Then they were putting the oxygen mask on me and I asked if Adam was still there so he came over and said yes. I asked him if I was going to get a photo CD from the surgery again and he said yes and that they would go over it with me and explain the images. I told him they didn't do that last time and he was like "we didn't?" I said no and he said this one would be much more exciting anyway. That was the last thing I remember until I was in the recovery room. Where I didn't want to wake up. But that isn't as exciting a story! I was telling R about this last night and said I should blog it and she agreed. She said it was definately a unique to me story. I wasn't asking surgical questions I wanted to see the surgery first hand! :) THats where my priority was! Anyway all went well and I am sore. THe pain meds put me to sleep which is a first, I usually can handle meds pretty well. But not this time. Anyway I have to get back to elevating and icing!

It's time.....

Well I am pretty close to going to bed and when I get up I have a surgery to look forward to! It seemed like this day was so far away and now it seems like it came too soon! To tell the truth I am not too worried about the surgery. But I am a little worried about the recovery! I am not looking forward to the brace or the 2 weeks I have to keep my L leg dry, or the physical therapy~ But I am excited for the long term part of the recovery. The time in like 6 months when I can hopefully walk again without the aid of crutches or cane, when I can bend my knee and kneel for prayers (well that may take longer actually) When I can start looking forward to working again! When life is improving and I feel "normal" again! When I can be active and feel alive! Anyway I forgot my other thoughts I had when I planned to blog! But I do want to say thanks to everyone for your prayers and thoughts and stuff! I know this is going to continue to be a trial in my life but it will hopefully be a blessing in the long run when I am better overall!

paperclip retainer

Ok so maybe I was a weird kid... and maybe I haven't completely grown out of it but oh well. When I was little I don't know if it was because of jealousy or what but I wanted to have a retainer. So from time to time I would open a paperclip and I would bend it to fit around my teeth and pretend it was a retainer. Now I don't really recall for how long I would "wear" my retainer or how often I constructed myself a retainer but I do remember doing it. I remembered those days this morning after I had awaken. Last week I went to the dentist and it was a really good appointment overall. He said despite my not being to any dentist in awhile my teeth and gums were really good. They didn't bleed during my cleaning (which was only a general cleaning not a deep cleaning) and overall like I said it went well. But he did tell me there is evidence that I grind or clench my teeth most likely while sleeping and so he wants me to wear a night guard. Knowing I had seen them at my local Target, or Wally World etc I said ok I will get one. Nothing to it. Well the tech or whomever said they would make me one that would be fitted better than the store ones etc. I asked the cost.... $350!!! OUCH!! I informed her that at this time I cannot afford that and even though they don't recommend them I would use the generic one. So I picked one up yesterday at Wally World. It was a much more reasonable price of $18.87 or something like that. I also compared the 2 options they had to see which looked more comfy and chose the one that I would be able to mold to my teeth. So last night I boiled and bit and molded my new mouth guard. It's a little different but I kept it in all night. I did manage to get it molded pretty well I think since it does "lock" onto my teeth like it is supposed to. SO I don't think for now that I need the $350 version. It did say on the box that with proper care it can last for like 6 months. Hopefully it does and maybe by the time I need a new one I can afford a custom one. Well anyway that reminded me of my "retainer" days!

As I thought about my paperclip retainer days I remembered other things I used to make. I guess in a way I was always the kid making stuff. I used to cut wire coat hangers and bend and twist them into a kinda long L shape that was the perfect size for my Barbie who needed crutches because she would break her leg. She had a blue cast which was actually a shoelace wrapped around her leg. I can remember it like it was yesterday! She had a broken R leg! I don't know why I didn't become an inventor! Although I do have a really cool idea that I think would be very useful for the EMS profession and I know that the couple people I talked to about it at work agreed it would be a good invention and I even talked to our director of operations who gave me a few ideas how it would be better and he said that if I did do it and manufacter it he would purchase them for our company. Only problem is I don't have the supplies or money to make it.... hmmph!