Friday, July 11, 2008

Too much lemonade...

SO I try to kinda live by the motto "when life gives you lemon, make lemonade" but I have come to realize that sometimes I have way too much lemonade.... and thus the lemonade starts to taste less and less sweet and more and more bitter and I feel like lately I cannot balance the flavor! I've had a lot happening lately with going back out of work for my knee, and the constant drama at home, and because of the lack of disability checks there are overdue bills. Then there is a few of my friends who have told me this week they are moving out of state. Then there is the weight gain because of the lack of exercise because of the knee stuff, and so there is a decrease in self esteem again. Then there is the fighting with my family and just wanting to get away and not being able too! It just feels like I am getting more and more lemons than I can handle lately and I am starting to feel overwhelmed! I know that it will all work out and I know that it is all part of a bigger plan and that my Heavenly Father is looking out for me and I will be ok but it is hard in the meantime. I just wonder what to do with it all. I know I am going to learn from this experience but I don't know when or how. Right now I am focusing on the negative aspects of it all which I know is the wrong way to approach it but I am struggling to find the positives! Anyways I guess to turn my perspective around I need to focus on the things I know for sure... I know that I am a Daughter of God. I know that I have the truth and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for the gospel. For the scriptures. For prayer and understanding. I am thankful that I finally have amazing home teachers who love me and who hold the priesthood and thus are able to bless me in times of struggle! I know that I can overcome anything with my Savior!~ That he died for ME and that he knows my struggles and has felt them before I have and so I know he can help me through this all! SO I know it will all work out and I will be ok! Life goes on and eventually the lemonade will taste perfect again!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, oh, oh, Elegyrl! I wish I were there so I could give you a big hug! I feel so bad! And to be the cause of the sourness!

    Maybe you should move to Utah too?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wonder if, sometimes, we have to find a new recipe for the lemonade or find something else to do with the excess of lemons. I'm voting for lemon meringue pie.

    It's funny that you said, in your blog entry, that you were focusing on the negative aspects, because, in reading your blog, I felt a lot of optimism. And the one time that I had the privilege of hanging out with you, I then, too, felt a strong current of optimism.

    I connected with this line: "I just wonder what to do with it all." Being overwhelmed seems to be something that I wear like an article of clothing. But you've really captured what being overwhelmed feels like.

    Elegyrl, thanks for posting your thoughts. I know that this is little consolation, but at some time or other, we all find ourselves feeling what you have described. And it's good to be reminded that there is a way to be ok.

    And, I hope that things improve for you. -OeK

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. One more thing--I've wanted to type this for a long time: I LOVE YOUR PHOTO that heads this blog. It's super cool.

    ReplyDelete