Friday, May 7, 2021

Disneyland Closes and Re-Opens

 Last year some of my friends and I had planned a trip to Disneyland for Sat March 14th... then as the weekend got closer, so did a lot of Covid related information. Things started to change, and the Governor of Ca said that there were going to be some mandates for social distancing and so forth to try and "flatten the curve" for the spread of the disease. He said initially that theme parks were exempt. I got word that church was closing temporarily and the girls and I were discussing whether we would still go to Disneyland. Then a bit later on in the day Disneyland announced they were closing starting March 14th. After work that evening Genevieve and I were messaging and decided to drive down to the park. I was still at work and she was in Simi. So she got the scooter from my moms house, met me in Pacoima and we went down to the park until closing. .... little did we know at that time it would not reopen again in 2020. 

Last summer Walt Disney World Reopened, and then Disneyland had plans to reopen as well. We were all excited and ready to go, mask and all... then the Governor changed the restrictions and requirements and wouldn't release the info in time for Disneyland to make necessary changes and reopen.... we waited, and waited and every time it seemed close the numbers would spike or the requirements would change or whatever and we wouldn't even have a chance. .... so we continued to wait, and wait and wait... in August I made my first trip down to Downtown Disney, and getting to security one of the guards said "welcome home" and the tears were flowing ... I was already emotional just driving down, but that did me in. It was a hot day that day (over 100) but I didn't care. I did some shopping and went to the esplanade between the parks and I cried seeing the locked gates. It was tough. After that I did end up making a few more trips down. When they opened part of Ca Adventure for additional shopping and some dining I went back. That first bite of popcorn was truly magical! I also had their hot link corndog... it never tasted as good as it did that day!

Then they cancelled the AP's, after like 15 years having one, that was a hard pill to swallow .... it started to feel unlikely  I would ever be back in the parks. Being out of church and out of Disneyland really made my weekends tough. Sure there were the occasional other small gatherings with family or whatever but it really was tough for me. I missed my fun and spiritual weekend events that helped me "reset" for the following week! Church started going on zoom back in like September and earlier this year we started getting to meet in person. Then the announcement came... theme parks could reopen with limited capacity if they were not in the "red tier" on April 1st. .... it was gonna happen! Disney opted to wait to reopen on April 30 so that they could re-hire their cast members and train them on new protocols and so forth and tickets went on sale April 15th for all us AP's who didn't have park access anymore or tickets... so we spent all day in a virtual queue and got some tickets.

On the 19th I went to the Touch of Disney event with a friend. He and I had a great time. We got to do unique photo ops, and eat food and be in the park (Ca Adventure) without being limited to one area. It was a great time but still not enough,Then the 30th was approaching....

Here's what you all wanna know about! Opening day .... prior to the tickets going on sale, the girls and I had discussions about when we were gonna discuss getting tickets to go... then the night before tickets went on sale, we had a 90 min video chat / conference call discussing days and plans. We had it all planned out and all knew what those plans and back up plans were. Day of sales, we were on multiple computers and our phones and keeping in touch all day until we got our tickets and reservations made. Heather and I got opening day tickets... and then we waited still to go. So in the final week, her boyfriend Ray surprised us with hotel for the trip, She asked me if I would prefer Thurs night or Fri ... he ended up booking both. Awesome, right?! In the last couple days before going, Kim saw she could still get a ticket, she was on days off and decided to join us too....

Thurs after work Heather drove to my office to meet me there, we left her car and went down. Kim met us there at the hotel. We got checked in. Relaxed for a few then went to the Walmart grocery store for a few last minute snacks and things. Got all our stuff together and made plans for what time to leave and so forth. Somewhere around midnight we were all in bed attempting to sleep! I didn't sleep well that night, I struggled to fall asleep, then woke up around 3 and struggled to get back to sleep again. A little after 6 we were all up and getting ready to go. Prior to going, Heather and I came up with shirt ideas and the weekend before I went to my cousin Kristie's house and we got them made. They turned out awesome, week then on Weds when Kim decided to join us, I didn't want to leave her out, so on my lunch break I picked up shirt for her and swung by Kristies again to make her a coordinating shirt. So we all wore out shirts and close to 7:30 we were out the door!

On the way to the parks, on the radio (It happened to be on KOST 103.5 I think) they were talking about Disneyland reopening and played "When you Wish Upon a Star" that started the tears for me! We got over to the parking structure at 7:37 and there weren't too many cars in front of us. I was getting teary again! (I know I am a sap) we paid for parking, and then we asked the cast member if we could park on Chip n Dale (where the handicap cars go) since we had the scooter for me, but no placard, the guy let us! Yay! So we didn't have to go up the structure or use elevators or anything. We parked in a non-blue marked stall, unloaded the scooter and headed for security, we got thru security fairly quickly and got in line for the parks. Right now since the trams are not going, you have to walk the tram route to get to the parks, at that time we got in line basically where you would get on the trams (before they had redone them) and so we got in line. After a few it was moving a bit, they took our line and every other party they used to make a third line in the middle of the lane, there was a 3rd line which I think were people who tried to enter from the Harbor blvd side and not the Mickey and Friends Structure. While we were there, I noticed the girl in front of us, the small pocket on her backpack wasn't snapped closed. But with social distancing and the fact we were not moving I didn't say anything, then either Heather or Kim (I think H) was like "should I tell her that her backpack is open?" so I was like "I was gonna tell her but didn't get a chance to" so she tells her... and we start talking with her. Her name is Anna and she was doing a solo trip, She was lucky enough to get Disneyland ticket and was not doing the park hopper. (We had park hoppers but had to start at Ca Adventure) Sometime around 8:15 a cast member came down saying that the parks were open and we'd be moving soon. Shortly after we were.... by 8:30 we we in the park! We got inside and took a couple pictures and brief video of being there, cue the tears and excitement! Then we got to go down Buena Vista street .... omg I was crying, they lined the street with cast members, waving and saying hello and "welcome back" and just emotions! I wasn't the only one crying that day! It was so great! We went all the way down to the end and then back to the front to enter the shops. I wanted to get the new "The Magic is Back " merchandise early in the day, so we did. We got our stuff and exited at the other end again (part of the safety protocols so they can track people in and out and number of people in the store) as we exited we got to do part of Buena Vista Street again and so I cried some more! 

We decided the first ride would be Soarin Over the World. We went and got in line, it was still before 9 am, but they lined us up, took us down and gave us rows... we got on the ride right at 9am and so it was our first ride of the day, right as they officially reopened!! It was so great! We did Guardians of the Galaxy and Monsters Inc and then had a snack break while we waited to do the Chase Visa special photo op. We did a lot of photos that morning throughout Ca Adv. We watched the Mickey's Philharmagic show, and while there we also rode; Little Mermaid, and the Incredicoaster.  Heather got a glass of wine or champagne or something (it was alcoholic and sparkly) and Kim got her ice cream she wanted. We had a good laugh when we went into one of the bathrooms and I was like "the toilet seat is up, we're the first to use the bathrooms since reopening!" We didn't make it into Carland, but I got an Alien sipper cup there too! It was around 12:30 and we were thinking about getting in line for Toy Story Mania, we were right there and the line was short, but we also knew that at 1 we could park hop into Disneyland, but that the hopping was dependent on capacity. So we decided to cut our time at Ca Adv. and get in line for the Land! 

We were only a few parties back from the gate at Disneyland about 10-15 minutes later.... we reapplied sunscreen while waiting and just hoped for the best. ... just before 1pm they started opening the gates at the ticket booths and at 1p started checking people in! We were inside by about 1:05!! Cue more tears! We hugged and cried and were just so happy! We snapped a few photos and went in... at 1pm on Main Street at Disneyland, they lined up cast members again for welcoming us! {all I did was cry, cry,cry, you get the picture I am sure} we decided to hit Space Mountain first. then Star Tours, after that we looked at lunch ideas. We had gotten a boarding pass for Rise of the Resistance (ROTR)  and so we wanted to make our way towards Star Wars Land. The girls wanted Plaza Inn fried chicken, but I opted for the cauliflower sandwich and "the grey stuff" from the Red Rose Tavern in Fantasyland. We mobile ordered our food, they met me at the Red Rose Tavern and we found a table. We were finishing eating and planning our next move when Anna walked by. I was like "hey it's our line buddy Anna!" So we hollered to her to say hello and she came over to talk to us. While we were chatting she was like "hey do you ride Splash Mountain?" or maybe she asked if we were gonna, regardless she asked about Splash Mountain and we were like "yes" it isn't Kims favorite, but Kim had already said she would ride it with us. So Anna mentioned that she had never been, has a fear of drops on rides but was wanting to ride it, but not alone. We of course were like you can totally join us! She had already ridden ROTR so Heather and Anna exchanged numbers, and made plans to meet up again after we'd finished on ROTR. 

We rode the new Snow White's Enchanted Wish (recently renovated from Snow White's Scary Adventure)  and Peter Pan and headed over for ROTR when it was our time. The ROTR was incredible! It had just opened last year in Jan and although I had been to the parks a number of times before they closed, I hadn't ridden it yet. Now I must disclose... I have not seen the SW movies... I know, I know, I have heard it a million times and I cannot tell you how many friends have threatened me with a marathon, but it still hasn't happened. Maybe one day. So while I was fascinated and really did enjoy the ride, Heather was the one in awe! (Kim had managed to ride before) ... I enjoyed it, but the whole time I was looking at it from an engineering perspective and the logistics of how it all worked and not crashing and just the incredible feat of all the ride entails! After we left there, we messaged with Anna to meet us at Splash Mountain. Now due to my knee, I still use the scooter for the parks, so we got down to the exit and got a return time. In the meantime we went to go ride Winnie the Pooh but it was temporarily closed, Haunted Mansion usually requires a return time as well, but we decided to try and were able to get on. SO we did the mansion (also recently upgraded and renovated, and still absolutely one of my favorite rides) and then went back to Splash Mountain. Kim sat in front, then Heather, then Anna and I was in the back. I told Anna I would hold her shoulders, she could hold my hand or whatever if she needed it. Through the ride I kind of gave her a heads up as to what was coming especially right before the big drop. She didn't die! Yay! I don't know if she will ride again, maybe once when it switches to Princess and the Frog, but she did it! We adopted her into our crowd and she spent the rest of the day with us. 

We did Pirates of the Caribbean, had beignets and rode Indiana Jones,  we did Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and it was getting close to 7pm .... Closing time :( Anna had a return time to get a Dole Whip and Heather wanted a chimichanga, so we said a brief goodbye and she went for the whip and Heather got in line for her chimi ... after she got her chimi we made a rush over to Small World and were the last ones to get in line... and ride at 7pm we were getting in the boat and starting the ride. We got out as the characters were coming out for the 7:15 time. We texted Anna and met up with her on Main Street in front of the Castle. Heather ate her chimichanga, I went to the Jolly Holiday in hopes of getting a Matterhorn Macaroon (they were out though) and Kim got some popcorn. They managed to secure a bench staring at the castle so we sat there for nearly an hour, enjoying our snacks and the view. We were not the only ones there staring at the castle or taking pictures or whatever. We also took some pictures and just after 8 pm Disney cast members started pushing everyone towards the exit. We passed thru Downtown Disney back to the parking structure and said goodbye to Anna there. We became facebook friends and  got to know each other a bit while eat the beignets /having a snack break before Pirates and invited Anna for karaoke night sometime at our apartment. She was a sweetheart.

What an amazing day! We went to Taco Bell for Kim and I and went back to the hotel. Had a late dinner and went to bed. In the morning we kind of slept in a bit, or at least relaxed. And eventually all got ready for the day. Kim headed home as she had to work that night and Heather and I went to Downtown Disney. When Ray booked us the hotel, we made lunch reservations! We did a little shopping, had some lunch and wished we had bought 2 day tickets in the first place for the park. But overall we were so glad to have been back at Disney. Now we are sad we have to wait to go back!

Genevieve and I have tickets for June 5 and 12th, and in July we all get to go back for 3 days with Kim and stay at the Grand Californian, Tami and Anthony will join for that trip as well. Since then Ray got two day tickets for him and Heather to go in June as well. We all miss the passes so much! without them I won't be able to go beyond what we've already purchased and planned likely until my Birthday in September, and then maybe again in Nov. That would get me to be able to experience the Halloween decorations and Christmas. They said that the new Annual Pass program would be released by the end of the year, but no telling how much it would be or what it will include. I def want to get my pass back though! I want to have the freedom to go more frequently again! It was missed and I am already missing it again. Being there with minimal crowds was awesome, being there to feel the magic again was awesome, everything brought so many emotions, after a while, later in the day it almost felt like we'd never been locked out, but it was still so great being back and it all feeling so familiar, like home, yet also so exciting because it had been missing in my life! 

Well that's my synopsis, yes we had to wear masks, even on rides and in pictures. But I didn't mind, I haven't been bothered by masks (except when wearing my glasses) obviously I would prefer not to have to, but to me the sacrifice was worth it to be home again! We talked about how yes we even have to wear them in pictures, but we also talked about how many pictures we have from Disneyland without them. We did sneak one castle picture quickly without them on, but overall it adds to the memories of this trip (and however many we have to wear them for) it adds to others down the road seeing what we did to get thru the pandemic and to be able to return to things we love. Disney has hand sanitizer everywhere, by all the ride entrances and exits, the cast members all have some on their belt, there are hand washing stations throughout also, they have plexiglass in lines, they have markers for social distancing in the lines, extra seats and tables throughout the park to sit and be able to snack or remove the masks (since you only can in designated areas and not in line etc) they are good about asking people to wear their mask properly if someone needed to be reminded. They have done an amazing job and I will go as often as I can, with the restrictions or without! 

I am one of however many people who can now say they were there on the 2nd day Disneyland opened! I can also say not only was I there on the day they opened, but had been there on the day they had to close too! I know I am not the only one who can say that, but I can and some people think I am crazy for my love of Disney but I am happy for it. I saw a shirt today that says "being a Disney fan doesn't make me childish, it makes me happy" there are no truer words to me! Well I think this post may be long enough now! Thats my story and experience and I am happy!  

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Life Moves on

     I have been meaning to post for quite some time now. So today I will be doing a double posting. I am going to update on my life a bit, since that's overdue, as well as an update about Disneyland. So my last post was a few years ago. I don't know how it's been that long, but as we all know life moves on. It goes fast when it comes to kids growing up and things we want to hold on to, but it goes slow for things like waiting on a vacation to come. 

    So in April of 2019 I was promoted at work. This also meant leaving an office that was 8 miles from home to another one where I am once again commuting. I don't mind commuting,  except the traffic, wear and tear on the car etc. It was also a big transition for me, in work and in life. I wasn't really sure if I was ready to be the supervisor. If I was going to be able to handle disciplining people, hiring and potentially firing people and that sort of thing. I knew that the paperwork and CHP related stuff I felt confident I knew or could learn. 

    It has been tough, when you work for CHP there are no overlapping jobs and positions. I knew about two and half weeks in advance that I would be going, and it was like "learn what you can from your current supervisor before you come" .... well at the time in my previous office, I was doing my full time position, plus the work of a part time position, and well 2.5 weeks to learn another position all together on top of work of 1.5 positions is a bit rough. I learned a few things and was kinda thrown into the fire for the rest. Obviously I could reach out to my old supervisor and other supervisors in other offices, but I also needed to figure some things out. 

    Getting to my new office, like I said was like being thrown into a fire... the supervisor there before me, had been there a long time, and she promoted to her new spot well over a month before I came in. So there was a lot that was left for me. I was also put into a cubicle instead of my own office because there were some issues in the office, amongst the employees and so forth, so they wanted me to "have eyes on them" It felt like a volcano more than a fire and I quickly felt under prepared. I also felt a bit lost. But I dredged forward and hoped for the best. Within a couple months I was getting a little bit of a feel for things, but was struggling internally. I didnt know if I would make it. My Captain started asking me about promoting again! I was like, how am I going to become a Supervisor 2, when I am barely a Supervisor 1. He told me I was doing well and he could tell I would succeed. That seemed a bit far fetched to me at the time, but it also helped me to feel like maybe I would be able to make it. 

    It's been a long road since then. I have kept moving forward. I have hired several people, and dealt with a lot of changes and personalities. It's not always been easy but I am starting to finally feel like I might have a handle on things. I have recently had to deal with my first progressive disciplinary actions. I have had to learn a lot about that, and also learned it is a lot harder to terminate someone than you'd expect, even while they're on probation (What the heck is up with that?) but it has again given me a chance to grow. Hopefully soon (Maybe July) I will also finally be getting out of the cubicle life and into an office. Not only will I be getting the office I should've had all along but this month I am taking the test for becoming a Supervisor 2! I don't know how I will do and I may not promote any time soon. but I am putting myself out there and testing to get on the list! Once I am on the list, if I do promote, it does mean another office change as well... but that's the joy of a state agency I suppose, lot of opportunities to learn, grow and offices to work in. 

    I have also moved again. So after my short stint with a roommate situation back in 2012, (we moved in together end of Oct 2012, and I moved out Mar 2013) when that fell apart I began renting a studio sized room from a lady I have known basically all my life. I was able to come and go as I pleased, I had full laundry and house privileges, and it was great. I was there for over 7 years. Last year I was starting to feel a need for a change. I knew I was in a good situation, I knew my rent was lower than most for renting a room, and I also knew I was blessed with a much larger room than most for renting. The lady I was renting from was like a second mom to me (again, I knew her since childhood) and so it was a very comfortable situation. I had roommates and they were great too, but I needed something different. During that time I had a friend who was renting a room as well (in another house) and the lady she was renting from was talking about selling her house. So she was looking to move. I jokingly sent her a little 2 bedroom cottage one day and said we should rent this together.. and after that we started a discussion. Less than 3 months later we signed the lease on a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom almost 1200 Sq ft apartment in Thousand Oaks together. Her boyfriend moved down after that and joined us. They have the master bedroom and bath and I have my room and main bathroom.  It is a blessing to have friends in this time. What I am paying for rent and utilities is only a little more than I paid for my room before, and although my room here is smaller, I have my own place. We all get along really well and the situation is great. 

    Having roommates during covid shutdowns was comforting. It was nice to not be "alone" especially not being able to go out and socialize. We were able to do so in the comfort of home. It's also taught me a lot. I met Heather about 7 years ago after my dad passed away thru an ex boyfriend (the lady she was renting from was his step mom) and this weekend her and I were at Disneyland together. We were talking about how strange it is the way friendships work, how you start out with such a unique meeting situation and now she's like a sister to me. Heather is amazing. I am thankful for her and Ray and our situation. 

    I have many other friends who are a treasure in my life, I have also had some friendships that have taken a different turn in recent years. It can be hard, but I also know that everyone comes and goes for a reason. During this last year I also lost my Uncle Charles. He was my dad's older brother and was the last one from their immediate family. I had been asked by him to handle his affairs after he passed and be on his power of attorney as well. It was tough, but has also taught me a lot. I miss him and all of them a lot.  When he passed, I was able to get his car. It's been an adjustment not having my well known CRV anymore, (I still have it, just not driving it regularly now) Boy how life can change. My Uncle Danny also passed away a few months back unexpectedly. It's hard getting older! 

    I don't know what else has changed, my life has been a blur, and amongst it I have grown. I don't always notice the growth but I know it's happened. My knee still sucks, and in fact has gotten worse in recent months, but I am still trying to do all I can too.

    Well ... This may not be a complete, or detailed or accurate description of the updates in my life, but it's what I have to share for the time being. I am currently single. I was dating a guy in Utah for a short time, but that didn't work out. He has wanted to try again, but I know in my heart he is not "the one" so I am taking life one day at a time and trying to be the best I can be to find who is and be ready when he comes along. For now, I am extremely grateful to be back to church in person, and as of Friday officially able to go to Disneyland again (new post coming for that specifically) life is moving forward again and starting to feel good.



Friday, December 7, 2018

Borderline Shooting

I haven't shared much about my experience with work from the Borderline shooting and fires. Please be patient with me as I do so now. A month ago after the shooting,  I took a call at work from an un-informed civilian.  It was a negative call,  filled with hurtful & untrue statements. The kind of call that stirred a lot of emotions and made it hard to remain professional. It was unnecessary and hard to take.
Yesterday, after learning the news that would be released in today's press conference,  I was saddened. I am sad for my coworker and friend, I am sad for everyone involved and I also became very worried. I feared more negative calls, I didn't know what to anticipate as the news was shared today. I did some crying, and a lot of praying between yesterday afternoon and this morning. I cried as I watched the press conference and heard them share it with the media and general public.
 I waited, I was still working and I also got online and saw comments, I knew I shouldn't look, but I did. I saw some filled with kind words of love and support for sergeant Helus' family,  the VCSD and for my officer. I also saw some of the negativity and comments that come from ignorance and misunderstandings. I wasn't sure what to expect still. Meanwhile our office phones stayed quiet regarding the incident, and news. Then I got a call...
I got a call from a gentleman, who said he felt he really needed to call, he wanted my office and CHP family to know that we are loved and supported. He wanted us to know that we don't always get the credit we deserve, that the officers don't always get the recognition they deserve for their daily actions.  He wanted my office to know he and his family are praying for us, as well as the VCSD and their families. He wanted to say thank you to my officer for his heroic efforts, he said he hoped my office and CHP family are rallying around the officer involved. That he supports us and him. He sent well wishes and blessings for the holidays.  He said so many kind things and it was so elegantly spoken I wish our calls were recorded. It was incredibly uplifting and after thanking him for the call and all his kind words I got off the phone in tears.
I am thankful for that call. I am thankful everyday for the blessings in my life and i am thankful for the things I have learned and for my CHP family. I love my job and people I work with. I have known the officer involved for almost my entire CHP career.  I am glad he is okay and so proud of him for his actions that night. I am sorry for the lives that were lost, and for those who were there and had to be subjected to such tragic circumstances, but I am thankful for the everyday heroes like my officer and Sergeant Helus who are so often overlooked, who run in when others run out. I am thankful to my family and friends who have stood by me and helped me overcome some of the emotions I have faced with all the events and how it had affected me at work and personally. You know who you are. I am thankful to those of you who read this far and I want you to know I appreciate you and your friendship.
Let us all take the time not just because it is Christmas,  but everyday. To look for those in need, to serve others and to show love. When we see a tragic event or news article can we please take a moment to consider the full situation before making negative comments, please consider those involved or those who know the ones involved and how our words or actions will be taken.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Monday, October 1, 2018

Stuff i've made



























Birthday poem

TODAY’S YOUR BIRTHDAY
IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU
BUT YOU’RE SO FAR AWAY
SO I’M SENDING AN IOU

I PLAN TO TREAT YOU
SHOW YOU THAT I CARE
IT’S SOMETHING I WANT TO DO
FOR YOU ONCE YOU’RE NEAR

FOR NOW AS A START
I WROTE THIS POEM JUST FOR YOU
SOME WORDS FROM THE HEART
THE LEAST I COULD DO

I LOVE OUR CONVERSATION
THAT I CAN BE MYSELF
NOT WANTING IT TO END
WON’T PUT MY LOVE UPON A SHELF

I HOPE TO TAKE THIS FURTHER
SEE WHERE THIS MAY LEAD
WANTING TO GROW OLD TOGETHER
AND RAISE A FAMILY

YOU’VE BECOME SPECIAL TO ME
PUTTING A SMILE UPON  MY FACE
I’M EXCITED TO SEE
WHERE IN LIFE WE FIND OUR PLACE

I NEVER DREAMT IT COULD BE THIS GOOD
I’D FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOU
A GENUINE SOMEONE WHO WOULD
INSPIRE ME THE WAY YOU DO

LEARNING ABOUT YOUR PAST
AND ALL THAT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH
OUR CONNECTION HAPPENED SO FAST
I LOVE THE MAN I SEE IN YOU

SHARING IN A LOVE OF GOD
READING, STUDYING, PRAYING TOO
PLANTING OUR FEET ON GOSPEL SOD
I CAN’T WAIT TO GO TO CHURCH WITH YOU

THIS POEM IS ALL WRONG
IMPERFECT JUST LIKE ME
IT WOULDN’T MAKE A PERFECT SONG
BUT I’M LOOKING FOR ETERNITY

I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING
I HOPE THAT YOU CAN SEE
THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING
HOW GREAT WE TWO CAN BE

I HOPE YOU WILL GIVE ME CHANCE
TO SHOW YOU THAT I’M ALL IN
THIS COULD BE THE ONE ROMANCE
EVERYONE WANTS TO “WIN”

TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
I HOPE IT’S WONDERFUL AS YOU
I WANT YOU TO KNOW I AM HERE TO STAY
I HOPE YOU’LL LET ME SHOW YOU

Happy birthday, C! 😚🎂🎁🎈


Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Waiting

Sitting Here i wait
With full uncertainty
Here i wonder and debate
Will i hear from thee

I'm not sure how i feel
It all came on so quick
Could this be truly be real
Or some sort of heart trick

It's been so different
From things I've felt before
If everything said was meant
Then how could i ignore

I cried when you said
You had to go away
A moment of dread
I didn't know what to say

My heart can't take it
I don't know how to feel
Hoping you won't break it
My feelings are so real

I want to meet you
To hold you in my arms
Can it all be true
I was won by your charms

Curious to know if you're okay
Waiting to hear how you are
I have so much to say
Hating that you're so far

You've made me feel unique
Like i'm the only special one
Giving me a peek
Of a life of love and fun

You shared your dreams with me
I want to know more of you
I dream that this could be
My wish for love come true

Sitting Here i wait
With full uncertainty
Here i wonder and debate
Will i hear from thee

4/3/18

Thursday, March 8, 2018

2017 Christmas Poem

2017 HAS BEEN A GREAT YEAR
FILLED WITH LOVE, LAUGHTER AND AN OCCASIONAL TEAR
PLENTY OF VISITS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
MAKING MEMORIES THAT WILL NEVER END
A SUMMER ROAD TRIP IN A RENTAL CAR
SEEING NEW SIGHTS NEAR AND FAR
TRAVELLED TO SEVENTEEN STATES
OVER 4000 MILES, IT WAS GREAT
THIRTY TRIPS TO DISNEYLAND
LIFE IS MY OWN ADVENTURELAND
I HAVE A NEW NIECE AND NEPHEW TOO
ADD TO MY LOVE TO THE PREVIOUS TWO
CHURCH, AND WORK AND PLENTY OF FUN
ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING, OR ON THE RUN
MADE TIME TO READ SEVENTY BOOKS (*76 by the time year had ended)
ONCE I START, I JUST GET HOOKED
WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND THE LAKE
HOW MANY SELFIES CAN ONE PERSON TAKE
A BRIDESMAID THREE TIMES SINCE 2004
BUT NEVER A PINK FAIRY ONE BEFORE
WHO KNOWS WHAT 2018 WILL BRING
HOPEFULLY I'LL FIND JOY IN EVERYTHING
DO SERVICE FOR OTHERS AND FIND SOME CHEER
MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
12/2017

Silence

Your silence speaks loudly
Many words to my ears
Your silence says things
I don't want to hear

I thought you were different
You even claimed to be
I thought you a friend
Then you abandoned me

I don't know what happened
Why did you change
It used to feel natural 
Now you've taken away the sun

I'll keep moving forward
My life will keep going
I'll keep my perspective
No time to stop rowing

I'll remember the times
You made me feel loved
I'll remember many moments
Like an angel from above

You showed me who I am 
& to be proud of me
You showed me my strength
& who I could be

Thank you for everything
The friendship once shown
Thank you for caring
Because now I have grown

You've made it too easy
To move forward now
You've made my decision
Can't look back anyhow

Remember in silence
Are words loud and clear
Remember the tears
In time will soon disappear

I've made my decision 
On moving forward too
I've made my choice
To be silent to you
2/8/2017

Short or unfinished poetry

When you smile
it lights the room
When you laugh
it erases all my gloom
When you talk
it fills my soul with glee
When you smile, laugh and talk
right to me
11/2/16

We make choices all day long
Choose to be weak
Or choose to be strong
3/28/17

Forgotten:
Sometimes I feel forgotten
Like I've been left behind
Am I really forgotten
Or is it just in my mind
It used to feel so simple
Things came so easily
When did it all crumble
And become my history?
9/24/17

I feel you looking down
What do you see
When you're looking down
Are you proud of me
I'm not sure where I'm going
Or who I'm meant to be
But I'm moving forward
I miss you Daddy
2/1/18


Forever and a day

The title says it all!! That's how long it has been since I have been on here and written anything! There have probably been like a million times that I have thought to write about life and such. I have also written some more poetry since I have been gone too... so I need to add those ... but first a little life update I guess....

In the past two years, a few friendships have come and gone. Life continues to be full of ups and downs. there have been many a trip to Disneyland, and many more funerals unfortunately. It is interesting how life continues on and with each new day and as I grow older and older, the funerals are becoming a little more consistant. It is hard to see how much my life has changed. It has also taught me to grow. It has helped me to know that I want to be the best I can be and I want to make sure that those around me know that they are loved. That they know that I am here and always will be if they need a friend. Life is full of curveballs, but if we are ready we can be prepared for it.

So in other news, my sister Denise and bro-in-law Neal moved to S. Carolina :( it is and has been hard, but it was also a blessing for them and for our family in one way... they were able to do more fertility stuff and now have the cutest set of twins ever! I love my niece Hazel and nephew Hudson so much! They are 5 months old already and are getting so big! I saw them when they were just a couple weeks old, and again about a month or so later at Thanksgiving! I miss them!

Other than that, I cannot think of too many new things to share. I am still renting where I moved 5 years ago (this month) after an unfortunate roommate situation with a former friend. It is fabulous here! I am not judged, I can come and go as I please. I don't feel I have to hide or anything else. I can make my own meals and my situation is way happier. It is nice too because I am not too far from my mom and family so I can see them frequently if I want or need to. Lately I haven't had the time! I am still working at CHP, 6 years this month, and it has been 2 years this month since I transferred to the Moorpark office. It is nice there, way better commute, and I have a free gym in the building which I attend daily after work. It is a nice bonus. In the meantime though I have tested and am in Rank 1 for an Office Supervisor position. Just looking for a spot to open up. I did apply and interview for one, but wasn't chosen. There have been a few other openings recently but even though I am considering relocating and moving if necessary, they were not in offices I was willing to move to, mostly because of the areas being too pricey to live. I know that Heavenly Father has something perfect in mind for me though, so I am trying to be patient.

Well I think that is about it for an update. Like I said, I am sure there are a bunch of things that have happened, that I should share about, but overall not too much has changed. Life is good.  After this post, I am going to share a couple others of poetry I have written but not posted yet. Good night