Single on Valentines day yet again... But remind me why this is a bad thing? I mean, it's not that I don't wish I had a significant other to share it with, but when it comes down to it I need to lose weight so chocolates are not good. I have more stuffed animals than I need so I don't need any more of those and although fresh flowers smell and look beautiful today, they won't be as fresh in a week (nor would they be as expensive). So it wasn't a "bad" day for me really. But then again, never having had a significant other on Valentines day I guess I have nothing to compare it to. I do remember one Valentines day I had an appointment with my surgeon to get stitches removed from my wrist, and another Valentines Day I spent with my friends Collin and Remy and we had Togo's for lunch and went for a drive (Collin's car was fairly new at the time I believe, and since it's an '04, it was maybe 2005 when that happened) so I haven't always been home alone. It's nice to know that I don't have to fight crowds and long waits to have dinner tonight. I don't have to feel pressured to "go out" tonight.
I really am blessed though, I don't really have much experience in the dating scene or in any real relationships and although sometimes that can be a bit depressing. I really do know that I am loved. I have wonderful friends and family and I have some friends that have been by my side for a long long time and I know that if I were to call them I could cry on their shoulder! I don't understand how some women feel the need to always be with someone. How they focus their lives on being in a relationship. I cannot wait to get married and have a family someday but I am quite capable of being on my own. It's reassuring knowing that I can take care of things on my own. That I know how to assemble furniture, and to do household repairs. I like knowing how to work on my car and maybe that makes me a little bit of a Tom-boy but who cares? I like the NHRA Drag races and classic cars. Some girls like watching sports with their boyfriends/husbands and some are annoyed by their significant others being into that kind of stuff. I am ok with it! I know that I have things I enjoy that my future spouse may not like and vice-versa but there is nothing wrong with that. It'll be nice to have some levels of independance. It'll be nice to enjoy things together like fishing and hiking and camping, but to let him watch the game with the guys. (Unless its the Dodgers I like going to their games... on TV he can watch alone)
I feel as if my thoughts on this post are a little scattered or jumbled, but mostly I wanted to say Happy Valentines Day to all my friends and family. Thanks for loving me and making sure that I know I am loved. I don't feel sad that I am "alone" because I know that I am a Daughter of God and I know that someday it will happen that I will be in a relationship with someone who may not be perfect, but who will be perfect for me and we will both be able to enjoy the day together. In the meantime, I wore a cute red top today (and it did get noticed by a few people, one being a guy) and I felt confident and happy. That's all that really matters if you ask me. That is one thing that has happened in my life in the past few years. I have become a lot more confident. I have really started to notice who I am even more than before and although I do more frequently wear make-up than I used to, I still wear it minimally. But I have found that balance to make sure I feel beautiful enough to face everyday as if I were the most beautiful girl in the world. It's given me confidence and I know that it's helped me to make new friends and to really appreciate myself and to not be so negative about the things I don't like about me. Thus making me love myself. That's the first step right? Love myself so that others can love me and I can love them?
So no, it's not a bad thing that I am single still this year. Who knows maybe with all this beauty and confidence, this will be my lucky year... if not I still have those friends and family and will still work on nto letting Valentine's Day get me down.