Sunday, February 24, 2013

Friendly Vs Flirting

I have always been a friendly person. I like to talk and joke and laugh. I have no problem talking to girls or guys, younger or older. I have been this way since I can remember. I can be a little quiet and reserved at first until I get to know a few people and start to feel more comfortable. Then look out world Renee is gonna have fun. I am friends with a lot of the families in church and most of those relationships started because I love kids! I think I started by acknowledging their cute children and naturally had to get to know the parents (who as it turns out, are just as cool as the kiddos) I also talk to a lot of the elderly I know in my life. They have a lot more experience than I do, and I love to hear their stories and learn from their examples.

I am a person who can be in most circumstances and look for the good. I can be at a party and the only sober one, but still laughing and joking and mostly having fun. I sing karaoke and make a fool of myself and don’t really care. People ask me all the time if I want to sing in the choir at church (or why I am not singing) and it’s because I don’t feel confident enough to do so. I know that the people there are talented and I don’t see that in myself. I don’t know how to read music. I don’t know the difference between key of E or key of G or … (any of them) I just want to have fun. I usually do have fun too! Karaoke is fun for me. I can make a fool of myself and I learn not to sing that song again! Or I can do alright on a song and get some compliments and know I should add it to my list of songs to sing.

The thing that gets me though is that sometimes my friendliness is mistaken for flirting. I don’t really know how to solve that problem. I am not going to ignore people just because they’re the opposite sex. I am a friendly person. In fact if I like someone, it actually makes it harder for me to talk to them. I am afraid to embarrass myself. I blush SUPER easy and am afraid that something will be said that will give it all away! But I have had some close friends say that I am flirty. I guess I don’t really know where the line is drawn between the two, because I don’t feel as if I am being flirty in most situations where I am being accused. So if this is the case with someone who might be reading this I am sorry. It really is unintentional.

I had someone tell me recently that someone told them I liked their husband because I talk to him etc. Luckily she knows me well enough to know that isn’t the case. I appreciate her telling me though, but it makes me wonder why someone would say that? I talk to him and a lot of other people in the same situation. If I am passing someone in the hall I typically say hello. I treat him the same as I treat several other people in the same scenario. It doesn’t make sense to me why someone would accuse me of that. I have a lot of respect for the bonds of matrimony! I have a lot of respect even for someone that I know is dating someone else. I would NEVER try to jeopardize someone else’s relationship despite any feelings of my own. If you go back a few blog posts and read my poem “Untouchable” it’s about exactly what I am saying now. I wouldn’t want someone to try to form a relationship with a guy I am dating/married to etc. so I would never do that to a guy who I know is in one! But it doesn’t mean I won’t talk to that guy. It doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with that guy. I think that every relationship needs to have an element of trust.  Again, If I have crossed any lines for this topic I am sorry. I promise that it’s completely unintentional. Even the guy involved in this specific case told me not to worry about it.  He told me that he enjoys talking to me and that if someone was to say something to him specifically HE would tell them it’s not true. I appreciated that. Even though I am still hurt that someone would spread the rumor in the first place.

I prefer it when people are honest with me. I would much rather you tell me the truth about something than to let it go and be bothered by it. I would rather know and be able to work on a solution or compromise than to be offending anyone unknowingly. So if my friendliness is coming on a little strong, please don’t hesitate to tell me to “settle down” a little bit. It may hurt just a tad but I would rather try to be more careful than to lose the friendship all together. I think that for me being overweight has caused me to have a little bit of a lower self esteem naturally. But at the same time I am working on that. I am really starting to remind myself that my body doesn’t define who I am. (You can read about that in my Valentines Day post “Simply Single” So now when I do step outside my comfort zone I think that it is misunderstood.  Maybe that’s why I’ve become overly friendly sometimes! I do like to have fun and make new friends and hang out. I like to feel like I “fit in”. It’s comforting to know that someday I will find my “Mr. Right” as far as I can tell he isn’t in my life yet. If it is someone I already know, I have no idea who it is! For now I am enjoying being me. I am working on loosing weight and trying to be healthier. I am enjoying my independence and trying to be a better me. I want to be the best that I can be so that I am ready to give myself 100% to the guy of my dreams. I think that is all I can do. So I am going to continue being friendly. I am going to continue to be who I am and if someone has a problem with that I hope that they are the kind of person who will come to ME about it. I hope that they will be honest with ME. Don’t say things that you don’t know or understand. I am (in my eyes at least) being friendly and not flirting probably more often than not! … well that’s my vent for the night. 

1 comment:

  1. Renee, you are always sending me fun texts and letters and stuff. You should stop flirting with me or Brady might get jealous. ;o)

    It was a good vent. Many people have this problem. I am not one of those people (because I'm always mean and I never smile). Maybe you should try that?