So you know how Bill Cosby had that show "kids say the darndest things" and before that someone else hosted the same show but I wasn't old enough to watch or understand it than so I am not sure who its host was. Maybe Art Linkletter? Anyway its not just kids sometimes.... these are some work stories from this past weekend...
So the other day while I was at work I was checking in a patient for the emergency room. I asked for his date of birth and then his name because that's the easiest way to find an account if someone has been there before. So I found him and put in a few things that I needed to put in, and then asked him his reason he needed to be seen... he told me "when I eat my stomach gets bigger" (he was also using his hands to explain this)... so now I wanted to say "yeah it happens to the best of us" or maybe "yeah me too" or "don't eat so much" or something along those lines because it seemed too funny a moment. But I had to remain professional and maintain my face and instead I just said "so bloating?" or something along those lines. So then he proceeded to tell and show me that his feet have gotten bigger too. So I listed his reason for visit as "abdominal bloating, and pedal edema". I was able to laugh about it later when he wasn't sitting right in front of me but for the moment I maintained composure and translated his regular/comedic way of speaking into proper medical terminology.
Ok so this one isn't a saying but it is a true story and it also happend at work... so the ambulance came in, which is fairly common considering I work in the emergency room... but they didn't leave their patient in the ER. They had brought in a mother and her baby. The baby was delivered in a car. The baby was pre-mature at around 33 weeks. The mother had no pre-natal care. I am not sure why she didn't but she didn't. So then the medics after having dropped off mom and baby came to the ER admitting to get a face sheet (it has the patient information on it) and they told us about the situation. They told us it was the mothers 4th child. Then they told us that she is only 20 years old!! So either all of her kids are really really close in age or she started having children at a really young age. Either way I feel bad for her and her situation and especially for those kids and I really hope the baby is ok! The most interesting part of this true story is the mothers name is... are you ready for this?? Her name is Concepcion.... WOW! That's all I can say for that one!
There was also another guy brought in by ambulance from a nursing facility in the area. I am not sure what exactly why he was brought in since I didn't check him in, but he has HIV, Hepatitis C, Cirrhosis and Ascitis of the liver adn many other live debilitating diseases that are not fun alone let alone mixed with many others. I guess it's the result of a life full of alcoholic beverages. So then as the medic was giving my co-worker the face sheet from the facility there wasn't really any information on it and he said "oh that's because he is new there, he just got out of jail." So she asked "why was he in jail?" to which the medic replied "child molestation"... I think that is so horrible! I mean I feel bad for the guy because nobody should have to suffer with those horrible diseases but its hard to completely have compassion for a guy who would do something like that! I am not sure how I would've handled the situation had I been required to take care of him knowing that! I would like to think that I would still treat him with respect but I think at the same time I would have quite the bitter taste in my mouth and be biting my tongue!
So remind me sometime to tell you about my EMT experience for the drunk hispanic midget! That's another fun story! :-)