Wednesday, October 1, 2014

More Tears in 2014

So it's another sad post of the year. I was feeling as if I couldn't take any more heartache, as if I couldn't handle another loss this year or for a long, long while. I thought maybe now that I am dating someone, that maybe, just maybe things were turning around for me. Maybe I was going to start finding a rainbow amongst the dark cloud of the year....then the unthinkable happened! Well maybe not completely unthinkable per say since I know he couldn't live forever, and he was almost 12.... my dog Medic died yesterday :-( it was so hard to get that call from my mom when I got to work yesterday. It left me feeling sad and almost defeated. It's so hard to take so much loss in so little time and all being so close to me. Medic was MY puppy! MY dog! Even though it's been almost 2 years now since I moved out of my parents house and didn't take him with me, he was always my dog. I still would visit him fairly regularly. I still cuddled and hugged him whenever I went over there. I still made sure to see him a couple times a week, and now he's gone :'( and I am crying again.

I have a picture in my room that says "sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms his child" I am not sure how much longer I will have these storms lingering around. I am not sure how much more calming I need to do. It's a tough one. I think maybe J. still is that little bit of sunshine for me right now. I think he is reminding me of how important it is to focus on the Lord. He is reminding me how much the simple things matter that maybe I have been neglecting. I don't know where my life is heading but I am thankful for his example lately. I am also thankful for his patience with me, and his showing me that I am someone who matters. He has made me so very happy even though it's only been a few weeks. I am thankful for him in my life right now. I am a lucky lady. It's funny to think how just a few weeks ago I was writing about someone that wasn't really opening up to me and now we're dating. I had been suspicious of him liking me at that point but he hadn't said anything and I was so overwhelmed by everything else in my life to really see how i felt about him, but I am thankful that I decided to write that post because since then my feelings have been changing a lot. He has made me super happy and I am enjoying our time together. He also sent me the sweetest most comforting message when he found out about Medic. It was what i needed to hear! Thanks J! I think I am almost ready to jump into that handcart ;-) I think people are starting to put me there anyway I might not really have a choice anymore!

1 comment:

  1. Dear Renee, May the Lord always keep you in His care, as you face all these trials that you are going through. Love Sister Eddington