Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hugs from a Father

Things have been pretty stressful lately. I am still not working and still have no income. So life is pretty crazy when bills are due and you literally have no money to pay them. I am thankful for my mom who has been helping me out, but it's frustrating because although she is helping me I know she cannot really afford to be doing so. But I can proudly say I only have one more care payment left! Wahoo! So that will help a ton! I have been applying and stuff and things look somewhat promising for CHP dispatch. I got an inquiry letter last week and it's already back in the mail. I am hoping now that I will get something for an interview. Than I pray that I do better on their interview than I did with Ventura County Sheriff (since I didn't get that job) It would be amazing to be back to work full time. Even if it is not in dispatch immediately I would love to find something. I had a phone interview with an optometry office, but never got called back :-( so I am just still chugging along and applying where I can.
Health wise things haven't exactly been a lot better. I have basically been sick since New Years! Right around New Years eve or maybe the day before I started getting a little cough. Which progressively got worse so by the 4th or 5th It was pretty annoying. So then came along the congestion... the cough started to go down a little but my ears plugged up and I couldn't get them to clear! Which is a constant problem for me anyway with my ear problems. So after a week of that I went to Target and bought some Tylenol Severe Congestion medication. The one with so much pseudoephedrine you have to get it from the pharmacy and show ID! The next morning my ears popped a little bit. it wasn't perfect but the Tylenol congestion stuff was helping. So the past couple days they were still kinda plugged, and the Tylenol was still helping but you're not supposed to take the medication more than a week. Luckily I had an appointment at the free clinic. SO I had them check things out. They gave me a prescription for a nasal spray for the congestion, (YUCK!! I HATE nose sprays!!!) and the Dr said I could take the Tylenol a few more days as well. So last night I bought some more Tylenol and today I filled my prescription! In the meanwhile my knee has been hurting a little lately (prob the colder weather) as well as my wrist. So I have just kinda been not feeling well all over! Blah!
Well because I haven't been feeling well and I have been stressing over finances and such it's been a little hard. I had thought a couple of times about getting a priesthood blessing from my home teacher but at several church activities lately where I was hoping to talk to him, he wasn't there. :-( and even though I have his number I didn't want to bother him by calling. So last night as I was texting with a friend S. about Family Home Evening I asked her if she knew if he was going because I was contemplating getting a blessing. She said she didn't know but her brother R. would be there. So after the lesson she asked me if I wanted a blessing that R had brought some oil. I said I wasn't sure and since she, him and another guy B. were in the room she asked B if he would help and we went into a smaller room and they gave me a blessing. It was really nice! I felt so much comfort at that time and was thankful for it. I was also thankful for her being so concerned and doing for me what I was afraid to ask for myself.
So then after coming back home a little while later I was still kinda feeling blah. My ears seemed to be at their worst yesterday and so I just wanted to be alone and not be trying to listen to anything or watch any TV or anything because what little I could hear was really muffled sounding. So I was online a bit and then decided to color.
So I have these giant coloring books that I got from Costco awhile ago. I have 2 different Disney ones (one is Ariel, and one is Princess') and I also have some giant Toy Story coloring sheets from Target. I used to also have a Disney Cars book but I gave it to a friend for her son. So I wanted to color. I knew it was something that was kinda simple and relaxing and it seemed like a good night for coloring. I kinda flipped through a couple pages and stopped on a page with a picture of King Triton and Ariel. They were hugging. Underneath the picture it says " Loving arms are the best things to have around you".
....sorry for the lame-o coloring job I did~
As I was beginning to color this picture I kind of thought to myself "I wish I had this kind of relationship with my dad the kind where I hug him like this with a huge smile on my face and just know that I am loved." Than another thought occurred to me, "I don't have that with my earthly father, but I do have it with my Father in Heaven. I obviously don't get to physically hug him but I do feel his warmth. I do get the feeling of arms around me in times of prayer and at church and even during the blessing I had just received a few hours before. It was as if a light was turned on. I have known that I am a child of God but occasionally I think we all tend to forget it from time to time. This was one of the moments where I was gently reminded! Silly as it sounds that a coloring page would remind me. but that coloring page held a lot of meaning for me last night!
The most interesting part of it all is my institute class this semester is about "Doctrines of the Gospel" and yesterday as I was doing the reading for class for this week (today and thurs) the lesson this week is about Revelation. So yesterday I was reading scriptures about forms of revelation. How it comes from the Spirit, or a vision, or from dreams. How it can come from other sources and I guess for me yesterday I had a brief lesson of revelation through coloring. It is amazing how much our Heavenly Father loves us! I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. I am thankful for the knowledge that I have that I can return to live with him someday if I live worthily. I am so excited for my institute class for the strength it is giving me to go and do. To continue to study the scriptures. I love all that I am learning! I cannot believe in March it has been 10 years since I was baptized! I have learned even though it seems that some of my trials keep getting harder each year I am still strengthened. I am still gaining faith and my testimony becomes stronger! What a great blessing that is to me! I know I can do anything because the Lord is on MY side! I know that I will find a job and will be able to take care of myself and my financial responsibilities. I know that I will get married and be sealed for time and all eternity in the Temple and I know that I will be a mom someday! I can't wait for that time!
So despite the trials and tribulations life is good! I am happy! I am going to try and get back on track with my blogging too! :-)

1 comment:

  1. =) You amaze me. I hope you're feeling better. I'm so blessed to have you as a friend!