Saturday, August 25, 2012

Dreaming, wishing and hoping

Wishing, hoping, dreaming. I think that we all have our expectations in life. We grow up with fairy tales (especially the girls) about “wishing on a star” or other things. We all think of ourselves as a Princess and wait for our Prince Charming. Maybe we are expecting a knight in shining armor or some other form of perfect man… But today I kind of have felt as if maybe I need to let some of my dreams take a back burner. Maybe some of my hopes are not what they should be. Am I wishing for something that isn’t really there? I don’t want to go into too many details but I just have begun to realize one dream that is maybe a little too far-fetched, or it seems like it right now. I guess I have held onto a hope that I am beginning to wonder if it’s worth holding onto.

There are many Disney songs (again with the Princess’) they tell us “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. When you wish upon a star your dreams come true” Or there is Snow White who sings

I'm wishing (I'm wishing)
For the one I love
To find me (to find me)
Today (today)
I'm hoping (I'm hoping)
And I'm dreaming of
The nice things (the nice things)
He'll say”

Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty sings:

“I know you
I walked with you once upon a dream.
I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
Yes, I know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
the way you did once upon a dream”

 during this song she meets Prince Phillip walking in the forest and they sing together

I think of Jasmine and Aladdin singing  “A Whole New World. Shining shimmering splendid” and I love when in Beauty and the Beast as they start to really see who each other are inside and begin to fall in love and Mrs Potts starts to sing “There may be something there that wasn’t there before” and little Chip just doesn’t understand “what’s there mama?” Or Belle as she singsNew, and a bit alarming, Who'd have ever thought that this could be. True that he's no Prince Charming, but there's something in him that I simply didn't see. " or in the street as she sings about her book Oh, isn't this amazing?
                It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
                Here's where she meets Prince Charming
                But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three 
(Belle is really my favorite Princess)

I think they are great messages. Messages of love and hope and of great things to come. But then there are people who aren’t meant to find “true love” who maybe won’t meet their “Prince Charming” in this life. What if I am one of those people? Maybe I am not meant to get married and have a family? What if I am destined just to be the favorite Aunt? I don’t think that is the case, but from time to time (days like today) I start to wonder.

I begin to think of all my faults, and I look at my life and wonder when things are going to change? What will I be doing when my life changes in the Love department? Will I be reading a book in the “town square” Days like today I begin to think less of the dreams of love and I start feeling like I am with the Goonies at the bottom of the well, when Mouth says Yeah, but you know what? [holds up a coin] This one, this one right here... this was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back”

I know I shouldn’t let things get to me, afterall just over a week ago I was feeling like a celebrity because the In N Out guy gave me extra fries. But then today I am starting to feel as if I will never get another date or get married. I am not sure why my emotions go to such extremes. I guess what they say is somewhat true. That Disney can give us “Princesses” too high of an expectation, and the truth is I don’t even see myself as a Princess.  I am not expecting to be walking through the forest singing and have some Prince come up behind me singing as well. I don’t think I will find my fairy Godmother who will rescue me and send me to the ball. But I would like a guy to surprise me and “sweep me off my feet”—figuratively. I guess I was just expecting it to happen by now and so today has become one of those days where I doubt myself.

I guess today I am feeling a lot like Sally in the Nightmare Before Christmas (although she isn’t considered a Disney Princess), her song is one of my favorites:

I sense there's something in the wind
That seems like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

I can realate especially to this part:
And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And in the final chorus:
And will we ever end up together?
no, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

Today I guess I started to feel as if “I am not the one”

Maybe I need to keep thinking of Cinderella… I need to remember to keep believing, afterall:

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

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