Just Checking In

So I realized today while I was at work that I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Now that I am online, I can see it's been about a month. Things are still going well with J. He is such a nice guy and has treated me with the utmost respect. He kind of has to, he's been warned by several others I know that he better treat me right or he better watch out. It's kind of crazy, because I had teased him previously that I am a princess and deserved to be treated as such (and so far he is doing a great job at that) and so it's funny that I was teasing him about watching out for not mistreating me otherwise there'd be people after him... and now some people who I didn't even expect to say it, have basically told him the same thing. I feel so loved and blessed to have so many people looking out for me!

I realized on Sunday that October was finally the first month this year where absolutely nothing bad happened and I didn't have any major trials to overcome. It was especially nice because it gave me plenty of time to not be worried about "what's next" and to enjoy a little bit of life (and some time with J) It's so crazy how so much can change in such a short amount of time. I am sure there is more I could say about all kinds of things, but for now I am just taking it one day at a time and continuing to adjust to all the changes that have happened this year. I was doing some shopping over the weekend and it was hard to start seeing more Christmas stuff around and realizing this Thanksgiving and Christmas my Dad won't be here. This will be my first holiday season without him! It's going to be tough! ~and now I'm crying .... ugh! I was also thinking this weekend what a blessing it will be to have my Uncle Danny come out for Thanksgiving this year... then I realized the reason he can come is because we lost my cousin this year. So it's going to be a happy but sad reunion! Everything the next two months will be tough, but I know that with Heavenly Father on my side, I am tougher! I can get through it all!

I am thankful for so many things in my life and I am thankful that right now I have someone who makes me happy. I sometimes wonder though if I am deserving of his affections. I know that it took some time for me to like him and I still feel like maybe the scale is unbalanced. I am glad though that he doesn't seem to mind. I am so blessed to have his support at this time and I still don't know where it may go but I am thankful for this time that we're having. It's been fun, we've gone to the movies, a few Disneyland dates, we have just gone walking sometimes. We've gone to the pier and watched the sunset, we've gone bowling, and mostly just gotten to know each other better and had fun in the meantime. We've discussed museums and hiking (depending on the cooperation of my knee) and many other things we want to do together. Hopefully next week we might take the train together (other than the one at Disneyland etc, I have never ridden the train anywhere) so we're talking about taking the train to the Ca Science Center, I would really love to see the Pompeii exhibit before it leaves. So that's exciting. he is talking about wanting to get tickets to the Air Supply concert coming up at the Fred Kavli theather in Thousand Oaks... over all we've had fun and he makes me smile, something that's kinda been hidden most of the year. He has also helped me overcome some self esteem issues. I am still not perfect in my self view, but he has reminded me that I am beautiful and has let me know it even when I don't feel that I am. I love the new Colbie Caillet song "Try". It reminds me of some of the conversations J & I have had. He's told me not to worry about putting on make up or trying to impress him, because I have already done that. That he finds me beautiful no matter what. It's super flattering to hear that (even if I struggle to believe it) and he tells me he cherishes me. I don't know how i got so lucky!